Age differences
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Age differences
| Fri, 04-01-2005 - 1:11pm |
Ok, so I'm 30 years old, and a female. ;-) I for the LIFE of me cannot understand WHYYYYYYYYY I keep getting 40+ year olds contacting me on OLD sites. I don't know, can someone explain to me why guys love women who are 10 years younger than them? (Aside from the physical reasons!!)
I'd like to know about the age range that the other ladies on the forum are looking for. My age range for 30 is 28-34. And yet I almost NEVER get men this age contacting me. It's to the point where I want to put, "HEY--DO NOT contact me if you're over 34 years old, as I WILL NOT BE interested in you!!"
Now, I know it IS possible for some to connect with people out of their normal age range, but I don't consider myself one of them.


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ROTFL
smiles,
Leidy
>>you have to have at least SOME age range you're comfortable with!<<
>>going younger rather than older, you have the immaturity issue to deal with.<<
>>younger guys never work out; their minds (and sometimes bodies) are all over the place, and they can't focus.<<
>>they're not ready to settle down yet.<<
>>a 24 year old would be much less ready emotionally to settle down than a 34 year old.<<
>>You see my point now?<<
Um, sure. Your point is that you want older guys, not younger ones, because of all the reasons (excuses?) you list.
Here's how I see it. You're complaining that these grody old guys, who are WAY too old for you, are emailing you and hitting on you, and that they ought to be more realistic about what ages are acceptable.
But my point is a simple one: You are doing *exactly* the same thing as them!
You are saying that you want a guy who's older than you. So are the much-older ones you're complaining about.
The difference is that you're only comfortable with a guy who's just a *few* years older, not one who's several years or more older.
But you are *just like them* in that you, too, want an older guy for yourself.
What I understand what you're saying, I am trying to point out that it's a little bit silly to be complaining about a "problem" while harboring the same basic attitude that leads to the problem in the first place.
So often we read in here about how people's experiences might be bad, but we do not take a good look at how our OWN actions might be helping to create the conditions for those experiences.
You're complaining about how these older guys just don't seem to get it, and yet you harbor the same attitude that they're displaying- that the age range should be a bit skewed towards an older guy, younger gal.
And like I said, I don't even think it's a hypocritical thing; I think it's just an unconscious thing that we all do. I think it's partially driven by social expectations and partially driven by biological/evolutionary factors.
I just get amused by the notion of someone complaining about the very thing that they do themselves. Does that make sense?
Do you see what I'm pointing out, that you want older guys too (for all of those reasons you list above), even though you're complaining about older guys hitting on you?
Playboy?
I feel your pain. I'm 35 - a young 35 - meaning I still get carded and I keep up with the latest music, movies and fashions. I'm single and have no kids. I am not sure if I want them or not. I am barely at the point where I am thinking about marriage. An example of the replies I get: a 49 year old theology professor who said he loved the Doors. The Doors??? Jim Morrison died when I was 2. A 49 year old socialist who said he looked 39 so the age difference was not an issue. I actually emailed that guy and told him off. It is not (solely) about looks. It is about being at the same place in our lives. I also get 22 year olds. Why???
It's gotten to the point where, I have a line in my profile essay that states an age range, ethnic preferences and NO KIDS in big letters. Why? Men do not seem to read the "my match" section in women's profiles. It is still not 100% succesful but it has cut down on the old/young guys and the men with kids.
I am trying to be open minded, to a point. My preference is a guy "my age" (33-38) but my essay says "If you are roughly between 30 and 40 years old. I can't picture dating 28 or 42 but I am trying. The thing is, IRL I would know if I liked a guy whether he is 28 or 42. In OLD I am judging by a picture and an essay and I just cannot see myself on paper with a guy over 40 or under 30.
This is one of those OLD specific things. I think there was a thread on the topic. I know I am more superficial on OLD.
>>What is getting me is just how old some of these men who are my age or just a little older look. I keep seeing pictures and thinking "That guy's old enough to be my dad," only to find out he's about twenty years younger than he looks. Whatever happened to men getting better looking with age? Not seeing it at all!<<
Lilah - I think a lot of them lie about their age. I am currently emailing a guy who claims to be 34. I'm 35, he looks a lot older than I do.
smiles,
Leidy
LOL! Lilah!!
How about those really fat men who claim to be "average" and are only looking for women who are "slim", "slender", "athletic & fit" and MAYBE if they are feeling charitable "average".
I'm talking men with at least three chins here!
Younger vs Older - my $0.02
When I was younger (prior to turning 35) I preferred older men like the original poster does. Older not old. Now that I am looking at those same men being in their early 40s men who are younger are looking better than men who are older. My current age range is +/-5. As I get older, I see it swinging to +3/-7, etc. For the same reasons the original poster listed: maturity and similar place in life. Most men over 40 I've met seem stodgy and dad like. However a man under 30 seems too young. I am not attracted to Ashton. I get what he sees in Demi. I just don't get what Demi sees in him. I never got what Demi saw in Bruce either so maybe I just don't get her taste. LOL!
Hey - I'm 35 and I love The Doors. .
I have to say that I try to be fairly flexible re. age. In real life I find myself checking out really young guys - too young. But with OLD - while my stated preference is 30-40 I'll consider both younger and older.
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