Is age really just a number?
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| Sat, 09-10-2005 - 4:50am |
Well, I'm still very close to putting myself on one of the big 3 dating websites. I know that from reading some posts here and doing some research, the last thing I want to do in my profile is lie (about anything). So, here's my dilema. I'm a guy who's 38 but I look about 10-15 years younger (I know..what a curse..teehee). I'm also pretty thin as well, which adds to my youthful appearance. I could pass for 22-25 but it goes without saying I will put my real age in my profile.
So I've been browsing the online personals on a few sites and have been looking in the age range from 25-45. I could see myself comfortably clicking with a 25 year old or a 40 year old with ease. I know 25 is probably a little too low to be looking at. I should probably narrow that range to say 30-45, but I'm trying to cast a wider net so to speak. I don't think it would matter much anyway because from what I've seen, women only put a desired 5-7 year age range for their ideal mate. So say there's a 25 yr. old...her ideal range might be 23-30 maybe 25-32 or something like that. Obviously I'm not in that age range, instantly disqualifying me as a possibility. I'm pretty sure most 25 yr. olds wouldn't even set their cutoff age range past 35 too. Anyone over that would probably be classified as "an old dude". So I guess 32/35-45 would be the ideal age range I'd fall into. Don't worry, I'm totally fine with dating a 30+ or 40+ woman. I'd feel a little more scrutinized though because I believe most women in this age range are looking for something serious/long term (I'm open to that as well). So I feel I'd be given 3 dates or less to see if we were compatible. Is that enough time to really know? So I should expect to go on many dates with little results huh.
Anywho, just another tidbit about my boyish looks. I could also see how a 35-45 yr. old woman might be uneasy going out with me. Our decpetive age difference might cause people to stare or gossip when out and about. I might be uneasy with this attention as well, but I know if the relationship progressed over time, and we got comfortable with the "stares"...I would treasure these lookey-loos. Here's why, We would walk into a crowded restaurant and people would casually notice and maybe stare. I would make it a point that as soon as we walked into the place, I would shower my lady with generous affection. You know, just the regular stuff, holding hands, little kisses, gently rubbing her back etc. being very obvious that we were together. I would love it if we were the envy of everyone in the whole room. It would be great if we caused every wife/GF in the place to give their BF/husband the "why don't you do that with me?" nudge. I guess it would also be fun if there were any groups of single ladies thinking to themselves "how did that woman, land such a "young hottie". Just my idea of a little devious fun. Apparently I thought about it a little too much though : )

yeah i would agree you are caught up into your looks a bit too much(hey its great to look young and fit when the big 4-0 is staring at you...you'll have that at least to feel good about right?) But realistically ...if you feel mentally compatible enough at 38 to go out with 25 year olds...please to the 35-45 year old women a favor and avoid them =)
For me, I seek mental compatibility, someone who can relate to things I can talk about and refer to. Ya know..something having to do with the other 23.5 hours of the day. That makes that other half hour of bliss last the day for me lol...
The world is your oyster being male, young looking and fit. Hopefully you have other things to offer like a personality, compassion, passion for what you believe in, interests etc. But if you don't...you can also do well with younger women (not saying there aren't younger and older women who be bored with just the superficial either) but perhaps the ones who are impressed with just the eye-candy and physical affection and nothing more.
Good luck, to me age is much more than a number LOL,
40yroldLizzie-who-will-never-consider-dating-past-5-years younger-because-generationally...i couldn't relate the one time i did. 31 year old man addicted to xbox and fantasy war games on the computer...huh? Didn't "get" blues music...huh? and humped like a jack rabbit...ow...hey its over?...Next! lol...
I'd say just focus on meeting someone you have something in common with and don't focus so much on making the rest of the world jealous or what might maybe happen way down the road.
Age is just a number, yes. I have met many immature 40 year olds and a few mature 30 year olds.
That's great you look young for your age, I'm 35 and no one ever guesses my age either, the current guy I'm dating made me pull out my license he didn't believe me as he thought for sure I was in my 20's HOWEVER that is not my focus when I'm dating. I have met 40 year olds that look 50 and yes we would look funny together so I understand the stairs or people talking BUT WHO CARES if you truly click with someone. The world judges everyday about everything. Finding someone your compatible with is in my opinion like winning the lotto.
Think LONG TERM when dating, not how we look together. Or if some 25 year old will give you a shot. I will say it seems for some men like you getting a 25 year old is like some prize and that's just wrong. We should be hooking up with people based on shared values and goals. What are you lookiing for? Do you want marriage and kids and the love of your life or do you want to just date casually and could care less? Not all 35-40 year olds want to rush to the alter and get pregant when they first meet you, some of us are wise enough to know it takes TIME!
Find someone that is an equal mentally, spiritually etc (aside from chemistry). You appear to be in your looks a little too much from you long post. What else do you bring to the table? Can you chat for hours about various topics, do you give a crap about where we live ---the world, politics and our society as a whole. What makes you laugh, what do you look forward to the most everyday when you wake up and do you want to make a difference? When you get to know a woman do you reach inside her soul and get to know HER not just what she looks like?
Good luck!
Small Peanut
I would agree with the other ladies in mentioning that perhaps you are putting too much emphasis on your looks and the age question.
check your email, I sent you one.
Your question isn't "is age really just a number." It's actually "do I look good enough to nail somebody younger?"
Why do you want somebody younger? because of how they look? I pass right by any profile that disavows the age the person is. It's such a cliche, and rather shallow. And about every third man on match says that, even insists it. Most of them just come off sounding desperate to hook up with a hot young babe. What is wrong with dating somebody your own age? The poster who said it's about what stage of life you're in was right on the money.
You aren't experienced because you have lived, you're experienced because you have lived and learned.
small_peanut, you are right on the money on that one!!
I think the solution to your condundrum is to contact ladies who have your age group in their criteria, regardless of how old they are or are not.
And I just have to say this, the fact that you believe you look younger (and it's surprising how many men do), is irrelevant. The point is, how would a woman judge your age?
I'm afraid I took a little offense at your fantasy of people staring at you because you are with an older woman. I can't believe anyone would think it a strange sight. As an older woman myself, if my guy started grabbing at me in public to show off to a room full of people, he would soon be very sorry. I would probably take away his dump truck to punish him.
amjay