Alcoholics?
Find a Conversation
Alcoholics?
| Sun, 10-30-2005 - 8:39am |
I mentioned this on my dating diary, but I wanted some feedback here. Since this issue can be found either online or offline when dating, I put it here.
Anyway, I've kind of stumbled upon a guy I'm interested in. The rub is that he's in AA, sober for 2 years. He physically cannot drink alcohol anymore, so he doesn't really battle his demons anymore (so he says) & is a sponsor for someone else.
Anyway, would this be a dealbreaker for anyone? Other than that, that's the only caveat I've encountered with him so far. I'm feeling that it shouldn't keep me from meeting him in person, but I should keep my eyes open if it proceeds from there.
Thoughts?

Pages
Hmmm...that sounds a little dubious to me...like he doth protest too much. If he stopped for physical reasons, why did he need AA at all then? As someone with 11 years sobriety, that just doesn't sound right.
Also the fact that it came up before you even met and he gave you way TMI (IMO)...again, that makes it seem like he's not matter of fact about it but is defensive.
Aside from that, what is it you're concerned about? That he would start drinking again?
Sheri
Well, actually, I brought up the AA since his signature quoted a "step" & the only place I heard had steps like that was AA. So, I asked him if that was from AA & if he was in it. Then he told me the story. I also asked if he had a problem being around alcohol at all (my family drinks pretty freely at events/get together) & he then related the reason he went to AA. He's not going to drop dead from one drink, but he got to the point where his liver was at a crossroads...if he kept drinking he'd need a transplant in the near future, but if he stopped it could rebound (the liver is an amazing organ). So, he stopped & joined AA. That's his story, & it may be the truth. I don't have any proof that it's a lie, but when you are first getting to know someone, all you have at that point is their word. That's why I'm asking from anyone else's experience.
I admit, I'm a recovering pill popper. I was addicted to Demerol in college (long story) so I have no room to judge. I just want to know what to look for from anyone who has been there.
I think you're approaching this just fine and I also agree that calling someone a liar right off the bat is not fair until they deserve it.
When are you going to meet him?
Hmmm...it sounds to me like he's not really comfortable with his sobriety, but that's just my take on it.
I'm still not clear on what exactly it is you're concerned about, however.
Sheri
Pages