All they want is sex! What's the deal?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-05-2005
All they want is sex! What's the deal?
7
Sat, 03-05-2005 - 12:40pm
I've been trying internet dating but all the men I have met are only interested in casual sex. Maybe I'm old fashioned but when did, "Great tits! Can I lick them?" become a conversation opener? I've tried several different sites with the same results. I'm not a religious person but I even joined a Christian site thinking I might meet a nice man there but got the same result. Don't get me wrong, I like sex but I don't want to just hop into bed with a stranger. Does anyone out there have any insight on this situation? Am I doing something wrong? A friend of mine thinks it's just our culture today. I'd be greatful for anyone's advice.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-29-2004
Sat, 03-05-2005 - 1:14pm

Speaking from my experience, I think one thing you can do is to take things slow and make sure that you have common interests and ways of thinking in many things. I made a mistake and hurried to go to bed with my current guy that I met through OLD. There were moments I suspected the same thing about him, but fortunately, he's very caring, has been with me so far and we enjoy doing many things together. Until you think you know your guy fairly well, it's better to hold, though. I did date a guy in the past who didn't sleep with me until 1 1/2 years later!

..and having sex isn't the end of everything, if you sense something is wrong, you walk away and look for the right one, I think that's what most guys think. It's testtosteron. Yeah, it's culture and I don't mean to support it, but I think the compatibility in bed can be one factor in your relationship. Again, I don't support or deny it.

Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sat, 03-05-2005 - 1:31pm

Thankfully, I get very few of that type of email, but it does happen! I just delete and block, if it does.

Some things to consider: is there anything in your profile that makes it seem like you're looking for a fling (basically any reference to sex can be taken that way)? And are these coming in by email or IM? If the latter, then you might want to consider not IM'ing (see the other thread about IM'ing--I've found it's not a productive way to interact with someone prior to meeting).

I also have in my profile that I'm interested in a serious LTR, and that I want someone who understands that building one takes time. So that may also weed out at least *some* of the casual sex guys, who knows!

Sheri

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-01-2004
Sat, 03-05-2005 - 3:13pm

This reminds me of something that happened to me.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 02-07-2005
Tue, 03-08-2005 - 10:16am

Many men in OLD are just out for quick sex, but as others have stated, you have to be careful what you say in your profile also. If you say anything at all that even hints at sex they think that's what you want - IF they even read the profile!!! So you might want to review your profile.

If it's a LTR you are interested in, state that and that should deter the casual guys. But I have also heard from some guys I know that do OLD, that there are women out there for just casual stuff also. So maybe some of these guys think all women are like that - or HOPE we are like that!

It seems like alot of the ones who talk on IM are looking to get hooked up quick also - many times I don't even talk on that, especially at night. And yes, many say exactly what they are thinking about sexually, because I think so much is accepted at this time, but it doesn't mean it is accepted by everyone.

Hey I like sex as much as the next lady, but that doesn't mean I'm going to just jump in bed right away either...did some casual stuff awhile ago after my divorce (had to make sure I still had it! And I did!) and it just wasn't for me without the emotional part and was just so hollow.

Best of luck to you in your OLD...

Sunshine

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-12-2005
Tue, 03-08-2005 - 11:03am

aregulargirl...


Pianoguy doesn't want to sound naive.....but when you're handed a line like: GREAT TITS...CAN I LIKE THEM...shouldn't a few 'bells and whistles' go off inside your head?


OLD posters come in all shapes, sizes and IQ's.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 03-08-2005 - 2:20pm
how come I always get the guys who need therapy! I never meet guys that just want sex, I feel left out :-(
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-07-2005
Tue, 03-08-2005 - 4:26pm

Hi Donna,

A lot of those guys who want therapy from us want the sex also - you know comfort sex!

Sunshine