Always strange to run across an ex's ad
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| Thu, 10-13-2005 - 7:17pm |
Well, I was bored at work tonight & decided to browse Craigslist for grins. In the Men Seeking Women section was this ad. There is no picture attached, but the age fits my ex-fiance (from college...I had another ex-f more recently). Don't ask me how I know this is him...I think I just knew him too well & he obviously hasn't changed (thank God I didn't marry him).
It is always surreal to run into an ex's ad. Thankfully, this is the only ex living in St. Louis, so I don't expect this to happen again unless I make new ex's. LOL!
I'll let y'all make up your mind regarding opinions on him. Then I'll fill you in on why i knew it was him.
It's been just a couple of weeks since I posted my first ad and had some really great responses. Please, keep them coming.
I'm not thrilled with the girls I'm meeting in Saint Louis and I am sure I am overlooking some great catches.
I like a girl with some class, a first rate IQ, liberal, open-minded, likes to play with her look, and could be frequently described as unconventional.
I know this is the hometown of Busch but seriously, if you need a beer in your hand at all times to have a good time, then you're not going to be my kind of girl. If you roll your eyes at the thought of reading a book or watching an indie film, you and I are also probably not going to get along. I'm not into rap or Marilyn Manson; I'm charmingly behind the times when it comes to music and I'm quite okay with that. I'm not fond of seafood.
The girl I'm looking for is playful and fun to be around. She is articulate enough to see flaws in my logic and tell me so, yet not be a nag or overwhelm me with her own personality. She is daring yet respectful of our boundaries. She is responsible but has a passion for humour and optimism. She doesn't need a partner but she likes the strength and stability it affords; she appreciates the little things and doesn't crucify anyone for their mistakes.
I am a huge cinephile and I'm an artist / photographer. I love to read and I like to talk about things that are larger than who I am. I'm not expecting you to match my interests, but be curious about the world and be passionate about the arts, music. I play with my look quite often; many people feel I'm a chameleon. I just went from having brown eye length hair with blonde highlights to a near shaved head.

Sounds artsy! LOL. :) But I bet you knew because of the hair length and colors. :)
Sara
Oh, and as an added twist. About a year after my last fiance & I broke up, I ran across HIS ad on Match when we were still living in the same city. He had one of those cliche' ridden, romantic drivel type ads that he thought was poetic. I sure can pick 'em, eh?
The funny thing is that I met BOTH of my fiances online, but the ads they had when I met them were normal, or at least somewhat appealing, obviously. Do I turn men into freaks? LOL!
Sounds like a SATC episode.
I'm still having a hard time dealing with the fact that within 24 hrs. of my last phone call from Guy #2 he had his profile "viewable" once again on the Yahoo Personals site. This is a guy who claimed he'd met nothing but flakes from the Yahoo site before meeting me. I was no flake, and he admitted that. I think he wants someone who "fits" his image at the time..as his mood changes. I saw a hot/cold personality before that last conversation with him.
While I still have thoughts that he might eventually come to his senses, I also know that I don't want a guy whose mood is as changeable as the wind. If he continues with that personality quirk, few other women are going to find him attractive for very long either. Sometimes we think that a previous flame is suddenly going to become the man we've always wanted...only with someone else. Odds are that if they have some real problems (as I believe this guy does in not knowing what the hell he wants), they are likely to have those same problems with someone else. If the woman is smart, she will see the quirks before I did and drop him.
playful and fun to be around
Sounds like a dog being described here. lol I just had to say that.
Is this his ad or yours? Please help me out here I am confused with your story.
R.I.
Ok, time for me to spout off about my first ex-fiance, who wrote this ad. LOL! Now, anyone can change after about 10 years, but my friend Yvonne, who used to do OLD, did date him a couple times off Match about a year ago, & from what she said, he hasn't changed. Oh, she didn't know he was my ex at the time, by the way.
>>I like a girl with some class, a first rate IQ, liberal, open-minded, likes to play with her look, and could be frequently described as unconventional.>>
Nothing new or surprising here. He was always very offbeat & general open minded. I did get a laugh about him wanting someone who plays with her look, considering he once pitched a MASSIVE fit when I dyed my hair red back in college (I'm naturally dark brown).
>>I know this is the hometown of Busch but seriously, if you need a beer in your hand at all times to have a good time, then you're not going to be my kind of girl. If you roll your eyes at the thought of reading a book or watching an indie film, you and I are also probably not going to get along. I'm not into rap or Marilyn Manson; I'm charmingly behind the times when it comes to music and I'm quite okay with that. I'm not fond of seafood.>>
Yep, he doesn't drink alcohol & was not happy when I got drunk on my 21st birthday. Hey, I love wine, so I wasn't gonna change. LOL! Of course, it's been years since I've been drunk. The music & seafood are what totally gave it away for me. He loves Oldies & Movie scores. Yes, he'll listen to just the score of a movie on CD, strange but true. So, his comment about music was a big tip off.
"I'm not fond of seafood" is an understatement. He would not allow me to eat it in his presence, as he said the smell nauseated him. I tried eating shrimp cocktail once at a restaurant with him (I adore seafood, by the way) & he said he'd walk out & drive away if I ordered it.
>>The girl I'm looking for is playful and fun to be around. She is articulate enough to see flaws in my logic and tell me so, yet not be a nag or overwhelm me with her own personality. She is daring yet respectful of our boundaries. She is responsible but has a passion for humour and optimism. She doesn't need a partner but she likes the strength and stability it affords; she appreciates the little things and doesn't crucify anyone for their mistakes.>>
I might have to take credit for this paragraph. LOL! I have a VERY strong personality & we fought a lot probably because of it. Indeed, I did crucify him for a couple of mistakes that involved catching him trolling online to talk to women with big boobs because he thought I had been unfaithful by getting a breast reduction. (I was a 44EE & had planned the surgery before we started dating...I think he thought I'd cancel it because he loved big boobs & because we started dating, I suddenly wouldn't need the surgery, nevermind the dowagers hump forming on my back...LOL)
Good times....
:)
>>I am a huge cinephile and I'm an artist / photographer. I love to read and I like to talk about things that are larger than who I am. I'm not expecting you to match my interests, but be curious about the world and be passionate about the arts, music. I play with my look quite often; many people feel I'm a chameleon. I just went from having brown eye length hair with blonde highlights to a near shaved head.>>
Ok, I cannot picture him with a near shaved head. He looks like Keanu Reeves, so I guess if I think back to the first Matrix movie when Keanu was bald, I might be able to buy it. But, his artistic bent is probably the most attractive thing about him. Unfortunately, he likes the idea of being an artist who suffers for his art...he gets off on that & it's draining to be around. He actually works in sales at SBC (or was when my friend dated him) but does art as a hobby. So, whoever guessed that was right.
Oh, the stories I could tell. My parents DESPISED him. They hold the fiance who dumped me 2 months before the wedding in higher esteem than this guy. Very high maintenance.
Of course, I'm sure he has horror stories of me he tells others. There are always 3 sides to every story. I wasn't the best girlfriend or person back in college, but I'm happy to say that I have evolved 180 degrees since then & am nothing close to the trainwreck I was then. I have to laugh, though. As someone who was with this guy for 4 years, it's like a resume...some things are fudged. :)
P.S. Yes, this post may be a little catty, but it's all in fun. I have to give the guy credit, as I learned a lot about what I want in a relationship & about relationships through my 4 years with him.
Edited 10/15/2005 1:39 pm ET by travkitty
I enjoyed your last post. I got a kick out of the part about "seafood". I could understand it if you were trying to force feed HIM the stuff, but to forbid you from eating it? Talk about a control freak.
It's amazing how time helps us see things more clearly. For the last month or so I had hoped I'd hear back from an OLD guy who bailed on me after date #3. He was the one I ended up talking to again (both online & on the phone) after he bailed. It certainly sounded like he wanted to start over, but I could sense that "weirdness" in his voice during that last phone conversation. He had a hot/cold personality that, looking back, seems now more like a Jeckyl/Hyde personality. Within 24 hours of our last conversation, his profile was back on the yahoo site.
I don't deserve a guy who is so wishy-washy and who doesn't know what he wants. For someone who said he'd met nothing but flakes online previously to meeting me, he is certainly free to date whoever he wants. He had such restrictions on what he wanted as far as qualities go (according to him, I had almost ALL of the qualities he wanted), I'm sure he isn't likely to find the woman of his dreams anytime soon. Ultimately, he couldn't picture me riding on the back of his Harley for 300 miles. That was the reason he gave for the first bail-out. He also wanted someone who didn't drink at all (which I don't). I wonder how many women would fit his criteria AND be willing to put up with a house FULL of (and I do mean FULL) of deer heads! This guy gave new meaning to the word "hunting"! Add to that his moody personality...chances are very good that our "romance" would not have lasted long anyway. I'm glad it didn't last any longer than it did. However, it helps to know that I'm not alone and that there are many stories out there. We just have to live and learn.
Edited 10/17/2005 4:07 pm ET by mitsy2