Am I (are we?) "too nice"?
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| Tue, 03-22-2005 - 4:01pm |
HI Ya'll,
I am getting an idea that I must be "too nice"! We had a discussion about this at work yesterday, and people were 50/50 on it. Some of the men say they want a woman who is 'sweet' and not a *itch, others say that if you seem TOOO easy going, then your are like 'easy prey' and will not be intersting, so men move on. Case in point, I have one girl pal who hangs up on her bf ALL the time--and he calls Right back! hrrghhh?!
Last guy asked me what was "difficult" about me...and I LOL! Not mucho, pal! I said that I could be a brat when I wanted something (like for us to eat Italian, as that is what I wanted)but...I would find ways to be charming and get my way, but he would Surely enjoy the Trip! He even remarked that his "last girlfriend did not understand at all"...when we had to raincheck our Saturday night date, as his work kept him til 10, and I worked early the next day, so did he. But..not a Peep from him since Then!(3 days!) Why for not?
I agree that some people not only look accessible and open to talking and listening, but they can put people at ease with their warm ways. That is how I am seen, and I am proud to be known that way! Somehow, that translates into "walk all over me,Please....with Spikes"...to men I date!
Oh, and Trust me...on Planet Cupcake, it is Truly "fool me once, my mistake-fool me twice, Your mistake". I can and will open a case of whoop-*ss from the Bottom end and walk away with a cute smile flung over my shoulder, and they will be "tore up from the floor up!".
Never Cross A Cupcake!
Truly,
Cupcake

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Speaking of mirrors... that is what it is about we attract what we are..
so if you are a bi#$@ch and you hang up on your boyfriend your boyfriend probably is an ahole and will do the same to you.
If you are emotionally stable you can probably find an emotionally stable man that will like the nice girl attitude and not the one that hung up the phone.. Only certain people will tolerate that for very long and the ones that tolerate it longer obviously have issues themselves.
It is all about boundaries. I do believe there is a "too NIce" attitude. and a beyotch attitude,and this is the one that us women get a complex about from men.. Men don't want to talk about stuff and want to have fun.. So when a woman feels the need to speak up about something, just asserting her needs or telling someone how she felt, some men initially will look at it as argumentative rather than her standing up for herself. ON the other hand if you sit there and tolerate things or don't assert your needs then you are a doormat. And I think a Man would get bored more quickly of this than someone that does assert her needs and looks like a beyotch but really is a nice girl that has boundaries..
Too nice to me is always agreeing, never having an opinion , getting walked on about everything , eventually those kind are out the door- as they are the doormat .
the beyotch who is portraying unhealthy behavior, such as screaming and yellling and hanging is just that a beyotch..and she will attract an abusive partner also.
I believe if you can fall somewhere in between than you will also attract that .
so when you look or hear about someone else and what they do look at what they have? If they do have a decent man he could be codependent..
Hi Cupcake,
I know her "woman of mystery" thing really works with these guys, because she has plenty of them and doesn't do OLD. She never calls them right back. She is also one to say she was out or she has plans, no more info period. Keeping them wondering seems to keep them coming around and back.
I can understand the frustrations that come long with the guy who is talking about how the two of you can do this and that in the future. It's like - is there an us to do these things together??? Sure it sounds great and appealing, but it all boils down to that a guy can still ghost at ANY TIME!
I guess with myself I am working on being more the middle of the road because I know that I am too nice sometimes, yet I don't want to be like my sister either, even though it works for her. Tricky tricky tricky....
I don't understand why guys wait so long to ask women out for the weekend either. I think bascially that they don't plan things as much as we do, unless they are the rare ones who are totally organized in their lives! The guy I'm seeing now is more organized but he can be spontaneous sometimes... but definitely more of a planner type...
Sunshine
Once again, Cupcake and I are soul sisters--for better or worse! Yes, indeed, we are TOO NICE. I just read the book, Why Men Love Bitches. The theme is that "nice" women become doormats--"walk on me, I love it" etc. The "bitch" is the one who DOESN"T rush to cook him a wonderful dinner (she gives him microwave popcorn) and is UNAVAILABLE sometimes.
(The problem is, the men call so rarely that I can't help myself--I accept!)
I KNOW we are too nice when we go on blind dates or OLD dates. I always try to be agreeable and sweet, even if I am bored. Then the GUY never calls again--the nerve he has! Why can't *I* be the one to dump?
True This Y'all,
All of the replies here, each one, has touched on something I think/feel/believe , and again, it makes me feel Good to know that I am 'coloring inside the lines' on this aptitude test of Life--and with such a great group too! :)
Well, well..."don't it always seem to go..."..New One,who did the "stop, drop and roll" to me last week, Suddenly turned up with the heat on this weekend, beginning Wednesday, and continuing with the calls! He even had the Noive to say: "I CALLED you last night". My 'just to the left of a bitc*' reply was "I saw that", and not a syllable more. ie, "it did Not register on my Richter scale, anything Else?". Amazing how someone can be so cavalier about your feelings, and then expect you to go all Pogo Stick when THEY feel slighted!
As/If!
I am now dating 2 other new men, and the gate on His chute is stuck....His bad!
All in all, I think we are very smart to be as we want, who we want, and act As we want, because we are the ones who see "us" in the mirror each day!
Amen Up in th' House!
Cupcakes of the World, Unite (or..."untie", is it?)
Truly,
Cupcake
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