another guy?
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| Thu, 02-02-2006 - 6:36pm |
I am still with T, the speed dating guy. There are some issues that I am not satisfied with... mainly he is only affectionate in the bedroom or on the couch when we're alone, but that's another story.
I have been chatting to D, we haven't met, but just chatting on msn. He asked me out, but I told him that I was already seeing someone (that was when I decided that there were too many guys and I couldn't keep up so I chose T). We were chatting again the other night and he is still interested. He sent me hug/kiss emoticons and winks and I can tell that he still wants to go out with me, but didn't ask.
I am really really curious to meet him. He sounds like a fun and affectionate guy (which is what's lacking with T).
In Australia we don't really say "we're exclusive now!" but I feel that T and I are far enough into the relationship to say that I would be cheating if I am to date another guy.
I really want to say to D that let's meet as friends. I think that sounds reasonable. What do you think? What if I like D when I meet him- I would then ditch T and then I would look like I am jumping from one guy to another (which is true)...

Hard to say... I'm trying to put myself in your position and think what I might do...
It probably wouldn't be terrible to just meet up for coffee or something. Plan to keep it short, and stick to that. You know it's likely that you might not click in person anyway, so it's kind of just to satisfy your curiosity, yeah?
And if you do meet D and you DO click well in person, just remind him that you are seeing someone and you need to decide what to do about that before getting into something else.
Either way, there's no reason to tell T about any of this. If you decide to split, it's not because of D, it's just that T wasn't quite what you're looking for, right?
Make sense? I don't know, never quite been in that situation! good luck...
I can definitely appreciate the differences in cultures but I do wonder - how do you know when you are "exclusive" with someone in Australia? I know that here in America, many people "gloss over" that step of the discussion of becoming exclusive because they are afraid if they talk about it, the person won't agree so they go on assumption. How do you handle that in Australia?
If you think that you might have something in common with the new guy, there is no harm in meeting him as long as you are clear to both him and yourself that it is on a friendship level. Like PM said, you might not hit it off in person but then again you might. If you meet him and like him, you can cross that bridge when you come to it.
Good luck!
Australia pretty much has a one at a time policy. Not that everybody dates one guy/girl at a time, but if you are into one guy you wouldn't really date around. That's not the OLD scene though- that is why I had no clue what to do when i started it. We are such a multi-cultural country, we are opened to many ideas, and we draw various ideas from different countries. So I guess one could say, oh but we didn't really say we're not dating other people... but then usually after a few dates and if you're not a player, you wouldn't keep dating around. You sort of morph into bf-gf after a while. Does that make sense? Do we sound totally confused?!! Well that's my version of it anyway!
OLD is popular here, but people are still in closets when it comes to it. People still feel uneasy about admitting how they met. Of course I'm just generalising. I really don't know the OLD etiquette in Australia and I don't have any friends who talk about it. Well I had fun dating a few guys at a time anyway!!
Back to my situation. I think I might meet up with D, but make it clear that we're just going to meet as friends. I don't think that would hurt as long as I make it clear from the beginning.
Let me ask you this... how do you know T is not seeing anyone else? My worry here is that you're being upfront and open, but possibly to the point of limiting your choices, you know?
...but it's not
I don't think there is anything wrong with meeting the new guy.
CL-Truewild1969
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