Another one bites the dust
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| Thu, 05-25-2006 - 10:43pm |
It's a good thing I wasn't too into him anymore...or this would really have stung! For a solid week or more, we talked or IM'd EVERY night for AT LEAST 2 hours...up to 4 hours! We Went out on 2 dates...I foolishly jumped into bed with him...then it started tapering off...and when I sent him this message, I hadn't heard from him AT ALL in 3 days...no texts, no offline messages, nothing...
Chad: hey! sorry I have been working my ass off lol then i come home take care of Tay and have been going to bed around 8:30 soon as he goes to bed except tonight cause I am working on a website just finish customizing the forums check them out http://www...
Crystal: well...I'm going back home for the long weekend, so I wanted to check in with you before I left...
Chad: oh, and on a chad weekend too :-(
Crystal: well...I hadn't heard from you...so to be completely honest, that spoke volumes...it just doesn't seem like you're into it anymore...
Chad: ok whatever i have to go
Crystal: "whatever"??? that really sucks... all you had to do was tell me that you weren't interested anymore, and you knew that...no need to ignore me and then get pissy when I call you on it...but if that's the way you feel...then I hope you find what you're looking for...
Chad: Welll I am sorry you feel like that but I'm so sorry that I work my ass off and take care of a 6 year old an I am soo tired. The last thing I need is someone getting on me about not being sociable and such ... I mean damn I have already worked close to 60 hours this week, helped tay with his school work, took him to t-ball and dealt with his low life mom ...This pisses me off becuase I told you this long time before we even meet that sometime I work alot and that Tay is #1 when it comes to everything if you don't understand that, then that is all you ...like I said I have to go
Crystal: you know, all I know is that before we met, you were talking to me for hours on end...then we meet, jump into bed, and then I don't even get a damn offline message for 3 days...I understand that your son comes first, and your work second...but I'd like to think that if you were really interested in me, then you would at least send me a message once in a while to tell me you were thinking of me...I'm not pissy...but if you don't want to talk about it, then that's fine...I can't talk if you won't listen...I think you're a great person, and that's about all I can say...good luck, and I hope things work out for you the way you want them to...if you ever do want to chat again...I'll be around...

Sorry this happened to you, but honestly, I think you jumped the gun
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Totally agree with vex on this one. I almost sent one of those emails to a guy I had just started dating and I'm so glad I didn't. Turns out he had been busy with work stuff.
Yet another reason not to have sex too soon; it makes you feel so vulnerable and a little crazy (speaking for myself here :)
Hello everybody :
Cj : I can totally relate to what you’re saying:
I was supposed to meet with a man a couple weeks ago: About a week prior to his visit to my part of the country, our email got pretty steamy and “intense” I would receive 2-3 emails per day and a call at night. I freaked out a bit about the kinky emails, so, I nonchalantly, yet clearly mentioned that there were to be “no expectations” for your first meeting. He wrote back saying that he had no expectations and that we would go with the flow of the first meeting … I thought that was a good reply and answered that we were on the same page ….. But, I have yet to hear from him again.
So, after a week of waiting, for a reply and plans for our meeting, I sent the “"Well, I haven't heard from you in X days so you must have lost interest" email. I, of cause, regret it now specially after reading Vexer’s post. Thanks Vexer;-) because what you wrote makes a LOT of sense. He might have been occupied with work, since I know the man is the busy business type …
But yet I wonder: why can he have found the time to write me 2-3 + times a day one week and be too busy to write a short email like this one on the next :
“Hi miss Y.
I got your email (s)
I’m very busy these days
Talk soon
Mr X”
That takes a maximum 60 seconds to type & send, in my book and it would have prevented me from, perhaps, jumping the gun … Now, is that too much to ask????
….And another one goes and another one goes another one bites the dust… Now I just feel like singing “if I could turn back time ….”
Take care Ladies
Winnie
Edited 5/26/2006 12:09 pm ET by funnywinnie10
It could be that they were really busy, but in my experience if the guy was just looking for sex, once they get it they are "busy".
Like funnywinnie said, how can they send 2 or 3 emails a day and then nothing...sorry no one is that busy.
You know a guy is really interested when they will make time for you and they are busy. In the beginnin my now boyfriend was really busy: demanding job and an ailing father he was responsible for. I knew he was seriously interested in me when he came out to see me for about 20 minutes in between taking care of his dad and going to some singing commitment he had.
Actions speak louder than words. When you are first getting to know someone check out what they do...forget about what they say...
Just my 2 cents...
Hey there!
This is a classic case of “feeling dissed after sex too soon”. Yes, it would’ve been nice if you’d heard from him and, if you search yourself, you’ll probably see that the reason that it bothered you is because you were intimate with him so quickly. Once we’re intimate with someone, we (women) expect that person to go into boyfriend mode. It's almost subconscious (we don't know we're doing this). I’m not saying that this is what you’re doing; I’m just saying…. You definitely attacked the guy….to be honest, he didn’t really owe you anything because the two of you aren’t in a relationship (and we all know that sex DOES NOT equal relationship). Yes, you noticed a change in the frequency of contact after you did the deed and, yes, it’s possible that he lost interest after that as many men do. I will say, though, that I'm starting to believe that if a guy is into you, then having sex soon after meeting really quickly isn't going to have a HUGE affect on the future of the relationship. Waiting won't necessarily make for a lifetime relationship. I've just made it a practice to wait because I know how it makes ME feel and also because I want to be in a relationship with a man before having sex with him.
With all of that said, I am a firm believer that if a guy is into you, NOTHING IN THE WORLD will keep him from contacting you. I don’t buy the “I’ve been soooo busy” bit. There are plenty of working parents out there who find the time to contact someone they’re in to. The fact still remains, though, that the guy’s not your man and doesn’t really have to call you when you think he should. Believe me, I know where you’re coming from. This kind of thing happened to me once (I slept with the guy after knowing him for a month), and I felt so guilty (in my case, though, we were together for over a year). I’ll never do it again, though because I was extra sensitive and paranoid for a while after that. It probably wouldn’t bother you as much had you not slept with him. I say, he’s not really worth it because of the crappy way he acted toward you; however, he was probably reacting to you because he felt attacked. From this point on, let him contact you. Don’t call/ IM/ email him anymore.
Mali
Edited 5/26/2006 12:52 pm ET by mali2579
Edited 5/26/2006 12:53 pm ET by mali2579
Help, I don’t know that to do….
I took day off to clean around the house, earlier today, I took the time to read and reply to this post …. But, in spite reading all of your very sensible comments, I just can’t stop thinking about how I may have ended “what was going on” prematurely… How, I just feel like emailing the “hottie” I was talking to you guys about in my previous post in this tread, to tell him I realised that I may have jumped the gun…. I know that the fact that he did not reply should be enough of an answer. Giving him another occasion to respond sounds too “needy”… right??? I know I should not do it and I probably won’t …. But, I so want to write him right now… Anyways, he probably believes that I am a world class “Odd chick/ freak” by now …Someone save me from myself …. Please ;-)
You see, that’s part of why I am not “cut out “for OLD . I get hung up on one guy too quickly and I seem to have no interest in the others. Plus, emailing more than one at the time feels dishonest to me… I know that’s part of the “process” and its normal to do so However I’m uncomfortable with that
Back to scrubbing the bathroom tiles again I guess…
Have yourselves a good long weekend
“Your Canadian odd chick freak … “friend “
Winnie
Let me just say that the conversation started out with me saying, "Hey! I haven't heard from you for a while...just checking in to see how you're doing..."
So it's not like I was saying, "Ummm...where the HELL have you been?"
He and I had been talking for a couple weeks, and not a single day went by without us in contact...texts, IM's, phone calls...and like I said, the IMs and phone calls lasted for HOURS...
The man works with computers for a living...he spends 10-12 hours a day in front of one...a teeny tiny little "Hey!" would have taken about 2 seconds to type...so "Busy" doesn't cut it in my book...
Basically, I wanted to move on from him, but wanted to make sure it was "cut off", instead of just letting it drift away, which is the reason I sent him the message in the first place after 3 days/4 nights of no contact from him...
I agree with the statement, "But yet I wonder: why can he have found the time to write me 2-3 + times a day one week and be too busy to write a short email the next...That takes a maximum 60 seconds to type & send, in my book and it would have prevented me from, perhaps, jumping the gun...Now, is that too much to ask????"
It doesn't bother me too much that I slept with him (scratched my itch! LOL), it's just common courtesy to contact someone to say, sorry it's not working out, when you've had that kind of contact...that's why I contacted him last...
And on another note, there was another guy that I've been talking to casually for a few months on and off, that I talked to the other night, and asked him if he wanted to come over tonight and watch a movie with me, and he said, "Sure...just give me a call when you get off work." So I did, and got no response, so here I am sitting all alone on a Friday night!!
Dating sucks!!
I think you're a great person, and that's about all I can say...good luck, and I hope things work out for you the way you want them to...if you ever do want to chat again...I'll be around...
This sounds an awful lot like code for "if you want to screw with my heart again and sleep with me and then not call me for 3 or 4 days I'll be around".
Why would you give him a second chance to see you naked? Do you need a flashing sign?
He's Just Not That Into You.
If he were, he would have called, emailed, something in that time.
And yes, you were pissy and snippy with him when you finally got a hold of him. Don't do that; it only gives him the satisfaction of knowing that not only did he get to do things with you while you were naked, but that he also got into your head.
Kick him out of your head and NEXT.