Another one bites the dust ...

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-15-2003
Another one bites the dust ...
34
Thu, 07-17-2003 - 12:23pm
I just got an Email from Joe saying that while he thought I was super he didn't feel that certain "je nais c'est quoi" with me and so is abruptly ending seeing me and cancelled the date we had planned for tomorrow too. Damn it, I really liked this one and he had like *everything* I was looking for in a guy. Well at least he had the guts to tell me and not like just stop calling and such.

Well I'm "back in the saddle" again (so to speak). I reactivated my match.com profile, emailed some people I had waiting in the wings ... so we'll see what my next adventure has in store for me.

Still .. rats rats rats.

Gabi

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Thu, 07-17-2003 - 12:30pm
I am so sorry Gabi... But, one of those waiting in the wings may be it. Many many hugs and keep your head up.

Marie

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 07-17-2003 - 1:31pm
I'm sorry - but I think there is a blessing in disguise here because I don't think you will take down your profile or draw conclusions the way you did this time, with the next guy and that will make things much more pleasant/smooth for you. Feel better.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-15-2003
Thu, 07-17-2003 - 1:42pm
Nope I actually will do it the same way again next time because that's how I am.

Gabi

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 07-17-2003 - 2:17pm
Ugh, I'm sorry to hear that! At least he did let you know...although it's a sad commentary on the courage of the men in the dating pool when we have to *comment* on that!

I hope you have better luck soon. And remember, you *thought* he had all the qualities you were looking for...you don't *know* that. Projection at the beginning of a relationship is a powerful thing, but you really don't start to get to know the real person until you've been dating for at least 4-6 months.

Sheri

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 07-17-2003 - 2:50pm
Sounds great - if it is worth it to you to get your hopes up so early on and start shutting doors that early on, and then have to deal with not only rejection but the knowledge that you acted to your detriment based on . . . not much . . . because "that's just the way I am" - more power to you! What I would suggest is that you not tell the man in question that you are taking down your profile after one or two dates - it might scare them (doesn't sound like you did that this time, just suggesting . . .). Best of luck!
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 07-17-2003 - 2:52pm
I totally agree.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-15-2003
Thu, 07-17-2003 - 3:15pm
Of course I wouldn't tell him that I was taking down my profile. That would be just stupid. And I wasn't getting my hopes up. I just *can't* focus on more than one guy at a time. One guy shows an interest in me that I like and I just go insane if others start showing an interest me at the same time. It drives me nuts, I can't sleep, I can't eat - I just can't do it.

Gabi

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-15-2003
Thu, 07-17-2003 - 3:18pm
He had the following qualities that I've been looking for in a guy - and I KNOW that he had these qualities:

1. A good conversationalist

2. Doesn't want kids

3. Isn't religious

4. Likes to dance

5. Has a stable career

6. Enjoys at least some of the same activities as I do

7. Is intellectual

Trust me its hard to find men like that, unless I'm looking in all the wrong places.

Gabi

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 07-17-2003 - 3:58pm
OK - with the utmost respect - have you thought about seeking counseling on why you have that level of reaction at that early stage of dating - I truly have never heard of that kind of reaction before and if I had that kind of reaction it would concern me greatly. Sounds like you don't have sex early on so that attachment isn't there - and why you would have that out of bounds reaction might be something you want to explore . .. .
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 07-17-2003 - 4:01pm
However you don't know whether his personality would be compatible with yours - what you described was a Mr. Right On Paper - has little/nothing to do with whether you two would click long term - unless that is not important to you.

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