Another one on igore/delete

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-20-2004
Another one on igore/delete
21
Sat, 04-16-2005 - 2:11pm

So, I am set up to see this girl on monday night.

She cancelled thursday, but it did seem legitamate, so I held out.

I was supposed to be on a business trip until Sun morning.
But, I ended up getting back at 1 am Friday night.

I send her a message, I came back early. This is like 12.01 am
this morning saturday.

She tells me, oh, its sure hard getting up with people's schedules,
I'll see you when I get back from kentucky (like the 29th).

Now...Keep in mind 1. she rescheduled a date already,
2. I notified her I was TWO days early back from my trip,
3. she went to highschool with my best friend's wife, but,she does
not know that. 3. Does not detract from my story.

So, we had a definate date scheduled for monday night.
It seems to me 1. She either never had plans to show up,
or 2. She has me confused with somebody else.

Because, again, I notified her I came back EARLY.

There is no reason to say oh we can get together in May...when I am saying
hey, I came back EARLY.

I'd appreciate your input.

But I can tell you, 99%, she's on ignore.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-16-2004
Sat, 04-16-2005 - 3:05pm
wouldn't worry about it until after you've met. By the very nature of OLD you're virtually guaranteed that she has other meetings established.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-20-2004
Sat, 04-16-2005 - 3:17pm

Thanks, bro!

See, I know what it is to be top priority.
As in #1 interest.

Now, it appears she's cancelled twice.

I have only two options to save face.
1. tell it like it is,
2. ignore.

I was wondering which route to go.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-16-2004
Sat, 04-16-2005 - 3:19pm
I don't care anymore what position I'm in before meeting -- she can confuse me with everyone for all I care. It's after you meet that you really have to work to figure things out. Up into then it's all lala land.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-20-2004
Sat, 04-16-2005 - 3:23pm

I'm thinking on that one.

You really know stuff.

I am formulating my response now,as I think about it.

I just have to wait a while its like winter to me outside,
and I don't want her to think I was just sitting here waiting for
a response from her, I wasn't. It's just cold outside, I can
do stuff on the house and play with the cats.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-20-2004
Sat, 04-16-2005 - 3:31pm

my response:

WOW. I didn't realize if I came back from my trip early
you would cancel on me for monday LOL

BUMMER

I'll try to get up with you when you get back from KY.
****
keep in mind this is her second excuse.

The last line, obviously, that's a code word for delete.

Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sat, 04-16-2005 - 4:48pm

I don't know if it's because I'm jet-lagged or what, but this the 2nd post of yours today that has me scratching my head ;-).

What was the point of telling her that you came back early? Were you trying to reschedule your Monday night appointment for sooner? Or just confirm it?

Why wouldn't you just write back to her, "I thought we had a meeting set for Monday night...does that not still work for you"?

Sheri

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-20-2004
Sat, 04-16-2005 - 4:54pm

Maybe you have a good point.

Also, I am jet lagged too, this is maybe the 4th time in the past
month I've had to be awake almost 24 hrs.

My main idea: frankly, if I let her know I was back two days
early, after she cancelled on thurs, if it is anything but

I'll be so happy to see you on monday

anything, I'm gonna be not going out with her.

I am not sure if I explained that well.
If she doesn't go out on monday, that is cancellation #2.
the first one was honestly a good reason.

however, me comming back 2 days early should not affect our monday date,
which, it appears it did....

Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sat, 04-16-2005 - 6:10pm

I'm just saying, she may have been confused (as I was) about why you were telling her you were back early...maybe she thought YOU were cancelling or rescheduling Monday's date??? Unless you also said something in your email to her about confirming for Monday...I think that's a possibility. That's why I would have responded to her asking if you were still on for Monday.

I did understand from your previous posts that would be her 2nd cancellation if she did cancel.

Sheri

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-12-2003
Sat, 04-16-2005 - 7:49pm
What I don't understand is why you would leave it open-ended if you are putting her on ignore? Confused...

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-10-2004
Sun, 04-17-2005 - 6:00pm

So let me see if I have this straight.

You had a date. She cancelled. You set up another date for Monday, and you were supposed to be out of town all weekend.

Then you got back early and sent her a message saying "I'm back early" and you expect her to... what, exactly? Fall all over herself with happiness? Set up another date earlier than expected?

Frankly, I'm with everyone else- I think your message to her was confusing and that she might well have thought YOU were cancelling the date on Monday for some reason.

Either way, it's apparent that it's more important to you that you "save face" and stroke your own ego by talking all tough than it is to have a nice meeting with this gal.

Instead of worrying about "saving face", how about you be gracious and kind and let this ONE little confused thing go. Meet her in person, have a good time, be yourself, and not worry about it.

Then you can decide what to do next. So far, all I can see that's happened is she cancelled on you once, you sent her a confusing email for no good reason at all, and because you didn't get the answer you expected you're going to ignore her so you can feel better about yourself and you can "save face".

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