Another one vanished
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| Sat, 07-15-2006 - 11:45pm |
Ok, variation on the same old vanishing story. And I know I had too much hope after the first date, but had a good time and just wondering if he's just playing with me or what's going on.
Had a very nice first date with an OLD guy, we kept in contact via phone/email for several weeks after, but schedules just never allowed us to get together (as much due to me being busy as him), though I made sure I was still acting interested b/c I tend to come off as rather reserved and just wanted to be intentional about expressing interest a bit more than usual (usual would = playing it very cool so that I'm sure no one could read me). Things started to slow down with the phone/email so eventually I wrote him a very no-pressure email saying basically that if he wanted to go out again the ball was in his court and I would just leave it at that email (so as not to become desperate/annoying). He quickly wrote me back and said he'd call me the week after... that was a couple weeks ago and still haven't heard from him.
I know he's "not that into" me, which actually is fine with me. I can see him being fun to hang out with as friends or as more than that. It's hard for me to just let it go b/c I have NO luck anywhere and I had a good time with him. I hate leaving things w/o some sort of closure b/c I can't stop my mind from wondering... I know he doesn't owe me closure at this point, we went out on one date for goodness sake! Is there any room for me to pursue him here?
Thanks... that was longer than intended :)

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I think we have good intention by saying "you will meet the right person when you're not actually looking". But really...think about fishing... If you want to catch a fish, you have to put some bait on the hook and putting it in the water. Otherwise, how can you get a fish? So, we need to be actively in the dating department. I've been single for a long time, did bunch of volunteer works, meet lots of people but still haven't found the "one".
I have more than my fair share of heart-break but if I'm not actively looking, I don't think any man would knock on my door and ask me out. It's the risk I have to take. I think it's nothing wrong with dating for a long period of time and haven't found someone. The majority of us on this board are looking for a serious relationship and no-string sex don't do it for us here.
So don't give up. Continue to get out and have a go at life. Have fun, and do date, and date alot. When the right one comes along it will be nice, otherwise just enjoy meeting people.
Hugs,
April
It's so easy to fall into the "all men are evil" idea but I think it's a very dangerous attitude to have as people (men) will sense it. Not all men are bad nor do all men play games. Not all men are into misleading a woman and not all men want just one thing. There are plenty of women who are liars, mislead men and are out to take a man for what he's worth.
The problem with generalizations is that they perpetuate feelings and not fact. And then we wonder why there's miscommunications amongst the genders...
My 2 cents.
Kerry
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