I HATE HATE HATE talking on the phone. To me it is such a colossal waste of time... after about 10 minutes my eyes glaze over and I start to drool. But I'm fabulous in person ;-) Cut him some slack on the phone thing -- wouldn't he be jetlagged as well?
It sounds like things are moving along with your guys. About the GG lawyer, you said, "...I hope he asks me more about myself in real life..." Does this mean that he mainly talked about himself? I'm not sure exactly what you meant when you said that.
I guess it's just because I have had bad meetings or dates with the lawyers that I met with and they all tended to talk and talk about themselves during our face to face meets, without barely taking a breath between sentences and asked nothing about me...yes they were totally into themselves! Yet one of the lawyers was very eloquent on email and IM, but had a hard time with talking in a give and take situation (To which I found out he mainly did the research and writing of documents behind the scenes and didn't participate in the courtroom - which was good as he was talented word-wise so his talents were put to good use in what he did - just not what I liked as he had a hard time with human interaction it seemed - and yes I am a very interactive person with someone with potential! ;)).
I do hope that your lawyer guy knows how to participate in normal conversation rather than just trying to convince you of things as some seem to be used to doing for their work. Again I am biased here. Yet you also said you need to keep quiet and quit making things so easy for him, so maybe he hasn't talked as much?
I do agree that many people either don't call or email on weekends, as they don't want to look like they have no dates and that they aren't busy.
I wish you much luck with the meets and I'm glad the guys called.
Good luck sparkle! I hope the meeting with GG goes well. IMHO, the reason you want to meet GG more than AG is because he is more of a challenge. AG is a nice, sweet guy that is kind of bending over backwards to be nice while GG has taken time to get to know, has been physically and (slightly) emotionally unavailable. It's all about the chase!
Hey there, glad to hear you have dates lined up with both...it'll be good to get your feet wet! Just remember...no expectations ;-). Hope yes, expectations no.
I can't remember if you've read "He's Scared, She's Scared" or not...I know that I personally have a tendency to be drawn to emotionally unavailable men, so I have to watch that in myself. Might that have something to do with your high level of interest in Germany Guy?
I tend to be the one to keep the conversations running smoothly also - but I think women are generally more social in that aspect anyway. Sure there are guys that are great at conversing, but many struggle with it face to face.
I think many times we are attracted to the guys who aren't as available and more of challenge, which the lawyer has been for you. I was always attracted to the guys like that also. When I got their attention I felt as if I had achieved something. Where the other guys were easier because I didn't have to work at it to get their attention, yet they didn't interest me as much either - so I know that for me it was the challenge aspect of it.
But I have worked at changing that and have been avoiding the emotionally unavailable type of guys and have been going with the nice guy types that seem to be a bit nerdy, but I'm finding it's actually ok, because they do things that they say they will and follow through where the other type of guys many times leave you hanging and wondering what's next. But there is something about that uncertainty state or feeling that I've read is somewhat exciting to us and so that feeling appeals to us more than the contented feeling, which can feel somewhat boring.
But I grew up with uncertainty and so that is normal to me and I am comfortable with that behavior pattern, but I have worked hard to change that and to realize that guys who are more predictable and caring are good for me. I mean, sure spontaniety is great at times, but not 24/7.
I wish you much luck on your meets Sparkle. The only thing I would like to add is that I had to learn not to put any expectations into a first meet - to just roll with it and if it didn't work out, not to take it personally and to move on and not dwell on the reasons why we didn't click. We can't click with everyone and with OLD you have to expect many meets that you just don't click with and THAT IS NORMAL.
I look at it as having more exposure to more people that I wouldn't have otherwise had the opportunity to meet. So I'm bound to come across more guys that I am not interested in, since I am looking for only one compatible guy.
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No.
I made a date with GG, the lawyer.
Sparkle --
I HATE HATE HATE talking on the phone. To me it is such a colossal waste of time... after about 10 minutes my eyes glaze over and I start to drool. But I'm fabulous in person ;-) Cut him some slack on the phone thing -- wouldn't he be jetlagged as well?
I'm psyched for you -- make sure to update us!
Tracy
Hi Sparkle,
It sounds like things are moving along with your guys. About the GG lawyer, you said, "...I hope he asks me more about myself in real life..." Does this mean that he mainly talked about himself? I'm not sure exactly what you meant when you said that.
I guess it's just because I have had bad meetings or dates with the lawyers that I met with and they all tended to talk and talk about themselves during our face to face meets, without barely taking a breath between sentences and asked nothing about me...yes they were totally into themselves! Yet one of the lawyers was very eloquent on email and IM, but had a hard time with talking in a give and take situation (To which I found out he mainly did the research and writing of documents behind the scenes and didn't participate in the courtroom - which was good as he was talented word-wise so his talents were put to good use in what he did - just not what I liked as he had a hard time with human interaction it seemed - and yes I am a very interactive person with someone with potential! ;)).
I do hope that your lawyer guy knows how to participate in normal conversation rather than just trying to convince you of things as some seem to be used to doing for their work. Again I am biased here. Yet you also said you need to keep quiet and quit making things so easy for him, so maybe he hasn't talked as much?
I do agree that many people either don't call or email on weekends, as they don't want to look like they have no dates and that they aren't busy.
I wish you much luck with the meets and I'm glad the guys called.
Sunshine
Hey!
Hi Sunshine-
Yeah, he talked mostly about himself because I asked him thngs.
Good luck sparkle! I hope the meeting with GG goes well. IMHO, the reason you want to meet GG more than AG is because he is more of a challenge. AG is a nice, sweet guy that is kind of bending over backwards to be nice while GG has taken time to get to know, has been physically and (slightly) emotionally unavailable. It's all about the chase!
Let us know how the date goes!
Hey there, glad to hear you have dates lined up with both...it'll be good to get your feet wet! Just remember...no expectations ;-). Hope yes, expectations no.
I can't remember if you've read "He's Scared, She's Scared" or not...I know that I personally have a tendency to be drawn to emotionally unavailable men, so I have to watch that in myself. Might that have something to do with your high level of interest in Germany Guy?
Sheri
Hi Sparkle,
I tend to be the one to keep the conversations running smoothly also - but I think women are generally more social in that aspect anyway. Sure there are guys that are great at conversing, but many struggle with it face to face.
I think many times we are attracted to the guys who aren't as available and more of challenge, which the lawyer has been for you. I was always attracted to the guys like that also. When I got their attention I felt as if I had achieved something. Where the other guys were easier because I didn't have to work at it to get their attention, yet they didn't interest me as much either - so I know that for me it was the challenge aspect of it.
But I have worked at changing that and have been avoiding the emotionally unavailable type of guys and have been going with the nice guy types that seem to be a bit nerdy, but I'm finding it's actually ok, because they do things that they say they will and follow through where the other type of guys many times leave you hanging and wondering what's next. But there is something about that uncertainty state or feeling that I've read is somewhat exciting to us and so that feeling appeals to us more than the contented feeling, which can feel somewhat boring.
But I grew up with uncertainty and so that is normal to me and I am comfortable with that behavior pattern, but I have worked hard to change that and to realize that guys who are more predictable and caring are good for me. I mean, sure spontaniety is great at times, but not 24/7.
I wish you much luck on your meets Sparkle. The only thing I would like to add is that I had to learn not to put any expectations into a first meet - to just roll with it and if it didn't work out, not to take it personally and to move on and not dwell on the reasons why we didn't click. We can't click with everyone and with OLD you have to expect many meets that you just don't click with and THAT IS NORMAL.
I look at it as having more exposure to more people that I wouldn't have otherwise had the opportunity to meet. So I'm bound to come across more guys that I am not interested in, since I am looking for only one compatible guy.
Best of luck to you....
Sunshine
I recall you weren't exactly sold on the Nice Guy who called you cutie, you thought he was too eager.
Hmmmmm. Are you suspicious of clubs that would have you for a member?
Just a thought.
And mucho congratulations in your OLD success! I hope you have fun on your dates.
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