any advice?
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any advice?
| Sun, 02-27-2005 - 11:44am |
I have a first meet with this guy today. I don't know anything about him other than that he is 39 and what in his profile. He didn't have his picture on-line but sent me some to my e-mail and he is nice looking.
His profile is not overly wordily and this is what he says:
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I wish not to bore you with too many details about how great I am. What is important is that I do have the "Time" to give to that special someone and would expect the same in return. The goal for me is find the right girl! However I can date casually without the expectation of something more significant. I guess it is important for guys and girls to discuss expectations like adults should. For the right girl, you will not hear from me "I am so busy". Being "too busy" for the right person would be a shame. Following some golden rules is something I try to do, for example I do protect confidential and personal information, and I will not bear false witness against anyone that I date. In other words, if things do not work out, you will not find me spreading negative gossip about you. On a more fun note, being a flirt and doing my best to be a thoughtful romantic guy is something that I strive for. I would be more than thankful to meet a girl who is reasonably educated, attractive, can pick me up when I struggle, make me smile, and is not too busy (hint - be inclusive)
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Anything you can advise me to watch out for?
His profile is not overly wordily and this is what he says:
------------
I wish not to bore you with too many details about how great I am. What is important is that I do have the "Time" to give to that special someone and would expect the same in return. The goal for me is find the right girl! However I can date casually without the expectation of something more significant. I guess it is important for guys and girls to discuss expectations like adults should. For the right girl, you will not hear from me "I am so busy". Being "too busy" for the right person would be a shame. Following some golden rules is something I try to do, for example I do protect confidential and personal information, and I will not bear false witness against anyone that I date. In other words, if things do not work out, you will not find me spreading negative gossip about you. On a more fun note, being a flirt and doing my best to be a thoughtful romantic guy is something that I strive for. I would be more than thankful to meet a girl who is reasonably educated, attractive, can pick me up when I struggle, make me smile, and is not too busy (hint - be inclusive)
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Anything you can advise me to watch out for?

Clinginess.
If you've dated before, you probably already know what are red flags. Just have fun and think nothing of it other than that. However, if you see a gun or knife on him, retreat ASAP.
Lisa
Two guesses as to what he'll be (based on those aren't never need to write about their attributes).
1. Klingon
2. Stalker
I think you should watch out for things like him being kind and caring and nice. You know, nice to the waiter, opens a door for you or someone, smiles a lot...
I believe that if/when we go into these meetings with a jaded, crappy, "I'm just waiting to discover you're a pervert stalker dude with mommy issues" attitude, we have already determined our destiny.
This doesn't mean you IGNORE the stalker signs, but we often find what we're looking for. If you go in bitter and jaded, you're going to find/meet guys/gals that give you reason to be bitter and jaded.
Hi Ivos,
This is exactly what I fell for with the guy who dumped me after 2 1/2 months because I was not "The One"--in this man's case, he is looking for a Very certain someone, but he wil be vague about whether You fill that bill., over time.
Also, that man began Exactly like this, first phone call, saying that he did not want to be "One of many", he was not a "horse to be part of a stable"--I fell for it, thinking he wanted One on One....Guess who was back online within 8 days? And that is Right after he told me I was "everything he was looking for" and he was crazy about me. That gives you a false sense of security. Read it as this: HE wants to not be worried about whether You are dating others, he did not say HE would not be!
I rest my case.
Truly,
Cupcake for the Defense
Cupcake, the dude is guilty as charged!
As my mother would have said (were she still alive), "he wants to be the only rooster in the hen house".
I agree with the others, he probably wants you to see only him! Yet that doesn't mean he will be seeing only you...
When I read a profile like that, the red flags come out that this person either has trust issues and has been cheated on or is a control freak and will want to totally control your whole life, which neither appeals to me.
Best of luck to you,
Sunshine