Any advice greatly appreciated
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| Fri, 04-28-2006 - 10:39am |
I haven't done the "dating someone I met through a personal ad" thing for about six years and have been in a serious relationship for about three years. I recently put an ad on Yahoo but wasn't sure the timing or my desire was that great, so I made it non-searchable. Then I ran across a guy's profile that really caught my eye and I messaged him. This was about two weeks ago. We've exchanged about a dozen emails/messages and talked on the phone the other night for over an hour. I think I could really like this guy and it really appears that he's into this thus far as well.
Here's my dilemma: I tend to be the kind of person who really goes after what she wants, to the point of being pushy or appearing anxious. I don't want to continue that habit. I'd really like him to make the next move. Plus, I think taking things slow is a good thing because of some timing issues in my life. He works at a sports bar, so is pretty much not in touch over the weekends. I guess my question really is "how slow is 'not interested'"? If I step back too much, is that sending him the message that I'm not interested or only marginally interested? Is there any "timing" advice that y'all could give me?

There are a surprising number of people with profiles online who have no intention of actually *meeting* someone in person...either because they are already involved or because they are clueless or who knows why. So this guy may be one of them--he may be "interested" but only in an email and phone pal.
I would have already suggested that we meet for coffee (I hate dragging out the pre-meeting emailing and phone calls, because it's so often the case that there's no in-person chemistry even when there seems to be email/phone chemistry and I don't want to waste my time), but if you don't want to do that, then there's really nothing you can do but continue at his pace.
Sheri