Anyone ever do 2 first meets in 1 night?
Find a Conversation
Anyone ever do 2 first meets in 1 night?
| Sat, 02-19-2005 - 2:47pm |
I'm sure some of you have - did it work? Or too risky? I'm thinking perhaps one bennie would be a limited amount of time to spend with each, perhaps then getting to a first date to continue.... and also, getting to wear the same "first meet" nice outfit for both....
What would be some negatives? I'm good at keeping names and details straight (unlike some others I've been out with....) and especially because I limit my contact to be with only two or three people max at one time.
Just curious as to your opinion as I will be on business many eves this week and I'm thinking about scheduling a first meet back-to-back with the not-so-good-first-phone-call dude's first meet.

Pages
I usually don't plan first meets to involve dinner anymore. Takes up to much time and if you aren't interested, it is a long time until dinner is over. Coffee is usually a good first meet, that way you usually can't spend more than an hour there. Sometimes coffee has turned into dinner, which is always a bonus.
The most coffee dates I have had is 3. I like to save the evening dates for people that I have met and more interested in. So, I guess I can say it has been four dates in a given day. Yes, it is exhausting...and sometimes seems like a lot more work than anybody wants to do. However, my going out is limited to four days a month, when my daughter is with her father. So I try to get those first meets in real quick.
I think it totally depends on you. Some people do fine with multiple dates in a single day, and some can only manage one a week like NWW points out. Nothing wrong with it either way; the trick is to know yourself and your own capabilities.
It seems there is a slight disconnect between the idea of "meet someone in person soon" and "meet someone in person FAST". I believe that it's a good idea to meet someone *soon* but that doesn't mean I have to do it *immediately*.
For example, I recently wrote about a great first date. I met her soon, in the sense that we only traded 3 or 5 emails, and chatted one time on the phone.
But from the first time she emailed me to the first time we met in person wasn't FAST, because our schedules conflicted a bit- she was busy, I was busy, etc. So it was a couple of weeks later before we actually met.
My suggestion is that you quit worrying about what the guy is going to think. There is absolutely nothing you can do to control the thoughts in his head. If you're away on business, you're away on business, and if he doesn't believe you or whatever that's too darn bad for him.
Stop for just a second here and get a pencil and a piece of paper. Now write this down:
WORRYING ABOUT WHAT THEY ARE THINKING WILL GET YOU NOWHERE.
Seriously.
I mean, we all come in here from time to time and moan/whine/complain a bit about our dating partners- what could they be thinking? But in seriousness, if you're setting your dating schedule based on being worried that some guy is going to "lost interest" or think you are moving too fast/slow, your priorities are really screwed up.
So quit worrying about what they think. Set dates when you have time and energy; go, be yourself, have fun, and if they call/email again, think of that as a great bonus.
For me, it was more the way you phrased what you said here "I hope they'll believe me when I say I am going away on business". THAT is what made it sound like a lie - not the fact that you were going away. People go away all the time. Just tell one of them that if you are not comfortable meeting both in one day. As long as you set up even tentative plans for when you return, there is no reason not to believe you. If you keep stalling and hemming and hawing about it, THEN they might think you are lying. So when you talk to one of them, just say "I am going out of town until blank day but I would really like to get together when I come back. Is there a day that works for you?"
I also agree with amjay - you seem to be very impulsive - act now, think later. A way that you can slow things down if you want to think about it (and not even lie) is just say "I have to check my schedule. Can I get back to you?" when a guy asks to meet you over the phone. That way, you can take a breath, and think about your response and a good time to meet. You are not lying at all and you can set the time on your terms.
And yes, NGOL has a great point. Why do you care so much what they think of you? If they think you are lying when you are telling the truth, they have some trust issues that you probably don't want to deal with!
Okay, I changed my mind and I'm going for it, because I do have the night free, and won't be back in the area for about a week or so. I actually have three "first meets" tomorrow evening, three back to back, with an hour in between to spare. Which sort of stinks because I don't know what to do with myself for the hour as it isn't worth it to come all the way home. Perhaps I'll bring a book and read "He's Just Not That Into You" to pass the time.....
Sort of nervous about it, but I'm hoping to get at least ONE first date out of it....
will update.
CYA :)
wow - are they all in the same place?
Do you give the guy a pre-fabricated escape excuse -- something like you have to be somewhere at a certain time?
Wow! THREE in one day? You're brave! :)
Personally, I wouldn't mention to someone that they're 1 of 3 people I'm meeting that day.
But I think that for them to come up to you while you're reading HJNTIY is brilliant! Any guy worth his dating chops will know right away that you are not a woman to be trifled with! He'll be saying "uh-oh, I can't get away with any of the usual games with this one- she's been informed and will know about it!" :)
Pages