Anyway to unmess a mess-up?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-28-2003
Anyway to unmess a mess-up?
11
Mon, 07-18-2005 - 11:53pm

Hi :)

I've been reading this board for a few days now, and hope no one minds me jumping in and posting a question.

For the past few years, I've been VERY busy and not dating much. I've also gained wait and have some self-esteem issues from it. I am, however, quite honest about that in my OLD profiles. (Well, the weight gain, not the issues.)

I was talking to a man a few weeks ago who I really liked. Very charming, VERY much my "type", and I was looking forward to getting to know him. In his profile, he never said anything about body types, etc. He did, however, mention that self-esteems is important.

So he asked me about the "few extra lbs" thing, and I explained to him. He asked how much I had to lose, etc, and I was honest. I also told him I considered holding off on teasing him (yes, I initiated, b/c I knew he kept looking at my profile, and I thought he was really good looking) til I lost the weight. (My schedule will normalize after next week for the first time in 4 years.) He said he didn't care, but got more distant after that.

We met the next week, and it was great, but I stupidly "fooled around" with him. He was great for a day or two after, I had a minor self-esteem crisis, and he's been gone since.

Is there anything I can do to say "I'm sorry. I know you're stressed right now, I've been under stress to, but if you want to try this again, I'd like to also", or should I give up, accept the rejection, and move on before I seem any more pitiful? :)

TIA!
giJ

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-18-2005
Tue, 07-19-2005 - 12:04am

Why would you apologize? If he's INTO you he'd call and date you bottom line. Don't chase him nor think it's something you did- cut your losses and I'm sorry it didn't work out. If he was the right guy you would know he was into you.

SP

 
 
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-21-2004
Tue, 07-19-2005 - 10:01am

Hmmm....I don't know how I'd take it if a guy asked me about my weight (even if I mentioned it in the profile that I was losing some).

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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-19-2004
Tue, 07-19-2005 - 10:50am

I wouldn't tell anyone my weight either, it's none of their business. Try to have a current picture up on the website and it shouldn't be an issue.

My poor friend just had a date with someone that had old pictures up, when she took the train into boston she met up with him, she said he was at least 60 lbs heavier and had totally different hair had a jeri-curl. She wasn't happy! becuase now she's stuck in Boston with him.

I think if a guy ghosts I wouldn't waste my time emailing him in the least. It wouldn't be worth it.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-21-2004
Tue, 07-19-2005 - 10:55am

Oh no....I didn't know people

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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-19-2004
Tue, 07-19-2005 - 11:02am
Back when I first started online dating (and it was free) nobody had pictures up because nobody had scanners or digital cameras. So every date was a blind date practically. lol
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-15-2005
Tue, 07-19-2005 - 11:48am
Remember the days of the newspaper personals? Talk about a blind date! LOL


iVillage Member
Registered: 07-21-2004
Tue, 07-19-2005 - 1:17pm
My step-aunt and her husband met through a newspaper personal ad.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-19-2004
Tue, 07-19-2005 - 1:23pm

You said it, sister! I've posted here before about those (not so good) old days. When I lived in Boston I did the newspaper personals because OLD didn't exist yet! I still can't believe I did it. For all of OLD's faults, it's definitely an improvement.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-01-2005
Tue, 07-19-2005 - 3:05pm

I absolutely...under any circumstances...would not contact him.

CL-Truewild1969

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-28-2003
Tue, 07-19-2005 - 11:58pm

Hi all,

I would like to thank you all for your input. I know I should just give it up. I'm talking with a number of men, have a number of dates set up (err... about 7 of them... 3 of whom have the same name. This is going to get confusing!) for when I get back to "reality" (I leave town this weekend for 2 weeks), and they all seems so very nice... Just not anything *I* am excited about.

Oh well, live and learn, right :)

Thanks again!
giJ

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