Are we a couple yet?
Find a Conversation
| Mon, 03-14-2005 - 2:47pm |
I met this guy online. We talked for about a month and we've been seeing each other for a month and a half. We've been intimate. We get a long very well, see each other once a week or so (due to our busy schedules) and talk on the phone and e-mail. My problem is he has not brought up the fact that he wants us to be exclusive. We had discussed previously how he likes to take things slow and I too am cautious but I am getting irritated and slightly impatient after this long. The last relationship I had from online dating lasted over a year...after a few weeks my then-guy said he wanted to just see me and took his profile off. That relationship naturally progressed and this one has not.
My new guy hasn't taken his profile offline yet, although he checks it less frequently. He also hasn't asked me to meet his friends or family yet. He hasn't met any of mine either. It took him forever to kiss me too. Is he just taking it slow? What are my options in broaching the subject of exclusivity? Help!

You're definitely not a couple until the time that you both agree to have "the talk" about seeing only each other. But the fact that his profile is still up and that you haven't met his friends/family means that he is still thinking of you as a "date" not a girlfriend.
If your profile is still up, an easy way to approach it is to tell him that you were thinking of taking your profile down because you don't really want to date anyone else right now and ask him what he thinks about it. It is relatively low pressure but gets your point across. It puts it on YOU not him. If he is ready to take that step, then you can move more toward exclusivity.
It might be a good time to start introducing him to your friends - that is another good indicator that things are moving to a more permanent place. Once he meets your friends, he might introduce you to his and you can learn a lot more about him.
I'd suggest working into a conversation.
Say something like "I've reached the point that I'm ready to be exclusive. Where are you?"
You need to let him know your POV without expecting him to be on the same page.