Are you honest about how long single?

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-17-2008
Are you honest about how long single?
5
Thu, 05-20-2010 - 10:13pm

Hello all,


I have been doing online dating in earnest

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-17-2008
Fri, 05-21-2010 - 5:59pm

If you say it really casually like "I was married briefly in my 20's. Since then I have had relationships but just never found the right person to marry again."


iVillage Member
Registered: 04-17-2008
Fri, 05-21-2010 - 5:57pm

I guess the same might apply to women. But i don't know how you could make assumptions that the men you are dating are responding to this and this alone. Maybe just the mere mention of marriage in teh early stages of a relationship would be enough to scare off most guys. I certainly don't mention the 'm' word.


iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Fri, 05-21-2010 - 10:50am

I just would not lie about something major because when the person finds out, they will be upset about you lying and wonder what else you aren't telling the truth about. After I got married to 2nd DH, I found out that he had in fact been married twice before me, not once. And he didn't tell me--I found out by accident, then he had to come clean. I had known about this woman but he really implied that they just lived together when they were married.

Now I've been divorced twice and I'm sure some people would be judgmental about that. I wouldn't put it in my profile--would just say "divorced." But if I met the person and it seemed like we got along and there was some potential, then if he asked, I would say it was twice. I figure if he could not get over that fact, then it's better to find out right away rather than after I was really attached. I wonder what kind of attitude you have about this. If you say it really casually like "I was married briefly in my 20's. Since then I have had relationships but just never found the right person to marry again."

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-02-2003
Fri, 05-21-2010 - 9:40am

IMHO you should be scrupulously honest!

We have a saying...if a guy is never married and past 45, there is usually a reason for it.

I guess the same might apply to women. But i don't know how you could make assumptions that the men you are dating are responding to this and this alone. Maybe just the mere mention of marriage in teh early stages of a relationship would be enough to scare off most guys. I certainly don't mention the 'm' word.

sooooobig
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-21-2008
Thu, 05-20-2010 - 11:28pm

While men may or may not look at you differently because you have never remarried or lived with someone in over 20 years, I still wouldn't lie if asked. Who wants a relationship based on lies?

If someone is really interested in you it won't matter to them anyway.

Violet