Argh...it's my own darn fault...

Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Argh...it's my own darn fault...
5
Sun, 05-21-2006 - 6:14pm

but I'm frustrated nonetheless.

I just got back from date #3 with this guy I posted about in the other thread...and I still can't tell if he's interested or not! And it's my own fault for prodding him into contact after our first and 2nd dates rather than letting him contact me (but I got freaked out and impatient after 5-6 days, because I'm interested in him), so I'm frustrated with myself as well as him.

We hug hello and goodbye, but that's it as far as physical contact. We went for a long walk today and he didn't try to hold my hand or touch me (and I even did that thing we women do where I touched him a couple times for emphasis ;-), just to break the ice, but NOTHING!). He didn't pay for my lunch either (we got fish & chips on the beach and I pulled out money at the counter just to be on the safe side and he took it, rather than saying "oh I'll get this".

So, I think it's pretty clear he just wants to be buds. I'm not initiating contact with him again, that's for sure.

It's just so ironic that I have one guy who's moving faster than the speed of light and shows his interest in SO many ways, on the one hand, and this guy (if I'm wrong and he is in fact interested in me romantically) moving at a GLACIAL pace, on the other hand...argh ;-).

Sheri

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-01-2005
Sun, 05-21-2006 - 8:30pm

Well, that sucks.

But what about the other guy?







Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 05-22-2006 - 12:42am

He's good ;-)...but I'm just not feeling at the point yet where I want to foreclose other options. There are a couple things that I'm just not sure about having to do with long-term compatibility issues...we just need to get to know each other better before those things can be determined, I think. Plus he isn't sure he wants to stay in Seattle...and I don't really want to get seriously involved with someone who isn't planning on staying.

Sheri

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-15-2004
Mon, 05-22-2006 - 9:01am
"Isnt sure" .... maybe he just needs a REASON

Photobucket

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-03-2004
Mon, 05-22-2006 - 10:36am
I wouldn't know how to interpret his behavior necessarily. Do you two talk about past relationships or anything very personal? I think some guys take their time. Maybe he's shy in some ways? You probably won't know until and unless you go out with him a few more times. I wouldn't blame yourself for "prodding" him. If he wasn't interested at all, he probably wouldn't have responded. There are all types of people in the world and maybe a relationship is not real high on his priority list, with anyone. Btw, I don't blame you for not necessarily being all gung ho for the other guy. One guy like that was contacting me, but I just don't want an instant relationship. I personally like it when people take their time getting to know me. I read recently that sexual feelings of lust, etc., activate the left side of the brain: the cold, cool, logical side. Feelings of love for family members stimulated the right side. So sex doesn't translate into love, as I'm sure you know. However, in a romantic relationship I would think that ideally affection and lust would progress at the same pace. For me, the idea of kissing a virtual stranger is not very appealing, even if I'm attracted physically. Too much lust clouds judgment and glosses-over other issues. I'd rather have a warm friendship. Good luck.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-18-2005
Mon, 05-22-2006 - 2:32pm

Kudo's to you for "putting it out there" and taking chances. Not all two guys respond the same way. Maybe this other guy is used to have women ask him out - so what -- maybe he goes slower then you like maybe he's used to women making the first move - no two scenarios are the same. I have two sets of friends married that said to me the other day "Peanut, if I took my friends advice I wouldn't be married today" so that's a prime example.


That guy I went out with three times that really liked me, I initiated an email on Thursday which I never do as I hadn't heard from him, his response was quick and positivee, called me w/in minutes of sending it. We went out Sunday for a hike, dinner etc and had a blast.