Article on dating over 40

Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Article on dating over 40
23
Sun, 10-30-2005 - 9:35am

This is in the Seattle Times this morning about men's views on dating after 40, and it's a follow up to a previous article (there's a link to the previous article as well):

http://seattletimes.nwsource.com/html/living/2002589853_datingmen30.html

http://archives.seattletimes.nwsource.com/cgi-bin/texis.cgi/web/vortex/display?slug=dating02&date=20051002&source=st

There's a lot about OLD in both articles.

My two comments on today's article:

1. Thank you Craig Sawyer (one of the guys quoted in the article)--you get that it's just *conversation* when you ask someone what they do, not trying to find out what their bank account is like!

2. And to the guy who said some women seem too busy: maybe you should try getting a life and doing something besides watching TV every night--it might make you a more interesting date. That's probably my number one pet peeve about men my age: they lead BORING lives!

Sheri

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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-08-2003
Sun, 10-30-2005 - 10:21am

Thanks for posting the links. Those are very interesting articles and they seem to confirm what I've already noticed. There just don't seem to be many "datable" men available in any city. I have a single male friend and he is always dating someone. And it isn't that he will date anyone - the past three women he's been involved with have all been bright and attractive and had good careers.

I went on a day shopping trip with a girlfriend yesterday and on the way home she told me I had to get out "where the men are". I asked her to please tell me where that was. She was stumped. I also asked here how many single, reasonable attractive, nice men she has met in the past few years and after thinking about it for a few minutes, she admitted none.

I'm with the women in that article - I am trying to keep my life fairly full because I can't just sit around waiting for someone to drop in.

I wonder if there really are good places to meet single men. Anyone find any?

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-14-2005
Sun, 10-30-2005 - 10:28am

I need to open a hunting/fishing store or an automotive/motorcycle mechanic's shop. I work in the construction industry and every guy I meet in real life that is close to my age (I go 5 years either way) is married. I would hate to start going to church as a way to meet men because that is just sad. I should be going to church for a very different reason, ya know? LOL

I'd like to hear some ideas also.

Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sun, 10-30-2005 - 10:33am

Nope...and I've gone to many of the events they mention in the article. Typically, in my age group, there are 2-3 times as many women as men, and most of the men who *are* there are either odd or boring. If a guy in the 40-plus age group is remotely normal and fun, he's swamped with dates.

Sheri

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-08-2005
Sun, 10-30-2005 - 8:19pm

I love when people say that you have to go where the guys are. Here's where I've been over the past 2 years, and I'm still single:

Starbucks
Barnes & Noble (and Borders)
The grocery store (even the high-end trendy ones)
Sporting stores
Cooking classes
the library
School functions
Charity functions
Singles outings
the mall
Art galleries
the gym
parties
blind dates
Home Depot
Restaurants by myself
Church

Someone please tell me....WHERE AM I SUPPOSED TO GO THAT I HAVEN'T BEEN???

Exactly where are all these men hiding??

I have to assume that it's timing, numbers, etc, not that I'm going to the wrong places...unless I need to go to Mars, perhaps.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-08-2003
Sun, 10-30-2005 - 9:24pm

Yes I have been to many of the places listed as being prime meeting areas. I took up golf (not to meet men but because I enjoy it) and after each weekend game, my golf buddy and I would scan the clubhouse and after a few times, he admitted that there really were no prospects around. I am not sure why, but there seem to be far more women that are bright, attractive and single than there are men.

My friend suggested I start going to a gym once a week. I'm not opposed to the idea since I already work out with weights 3-4 times per week but when I work out I'm sweating and puffing and I'm there to work my muscles not meet men.

If I come up with any new ideas, I'll post them but I am pretty much ready to give up and it seems from the rest of the responses that I'm not alone.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-14-2003
Mon, 10-31-2005 - 8:21am

My roof started to leak last week so I decided to put a new roof on my house. It took all weekend. I had a great time doing it but it got me thinking. It seems every weekend I have something important to do. Next weekend I have to volunteer at a big gala and the next day I have to lead a hike. During the week I am very busy at my fun job earning good money. The following weekend is getting booked fast as well.

It turns out Mr. Right isn't on my roof. And I think I would resent a man who couldn't get up on my roof and help me manhandle tar paper. I would resent a man that didn't have regular employment like me and I would resent a man that didn't have a nice house like I do. I'd also heartily resent a man who didn't have hobbies, friends and a life, like me.

Therefore, the pickings are few and far between. I must be in the "trophy-hunter" or "busy-lady" catagory that these men detest. It doesn't matter, I'm quite happy there and have no plans to drop my standards.

Yet, I still seem to be able to attract many good men. Let the whiners stew in the own juices.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-30-2005
Mon, 10-31-2005 - 11:08am

What men want over 40 or at any other age is an empty headed dumb woman who pays his way and hers on the first date and also has sex with him on the first date. They want a woman who never says anything who just smiles constantly and giggles. Someone who will give up everything on date 1 and never expect anything in return ever not even one steak dinner that he would actually pay for. Folks those are the true facts on dating.

R.I.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-31-2005
Mon, 10-31-2005 - 12:14pm
I think that may be a bit of a generalization, no?

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-14-2003
Mon, 10-31-2005 - 12:21pm

You do make me laugh with that.

I used to participate on a men's message board. Men do seem a little preoccupied with money, who pays and when. Not that any of the men there were a real catch but they did seem to think women should fork over money early and often. They were very sensitive to "gold-diggers", as in, if a woman asked what a man did for a living she was obviously looking for a meal-ticket.

Extra-sensitive bunch some of them. But that doesn't speak for all men.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-31-2005
Mon, 10-31-2005 - 12:23pm

LOL! <> Like

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