Awesome guy but hasn't called me back!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-17-2004
Awesome guy but hasn't called me back!!
12
Fri, 06-10-2005 - 7:24pm

About a month ago, I met a great guy online. We have so much in common, and really hit it off! We saw each every weekend, and sometimes during the week... we enjoyed each others company. I met his friends and he met mine. Anyway, last weekend, he told me how much he liked me... blah blah blah... and I said the same to him. We both took our profiles offline too.

Well, I haven't heard from him since sunday. I called him on wednesday, left a message, but he hasn't returned it. What's going on here??? I'm so frustrated... I want to call him again but I know I shouldn't.. don't want to seem desparate.

Any advice would help... thanks!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-16-2004
Fri, 06-10-2005 - 7:42pm
Anytime there is a change in behavior it's a huge flag that something is up. He's either dead or gone. Either way - time to move one...and I wouldn't ask why. Sometimes when people get to the "relationship" part of dating it starts becoming less fun. Don't take it personally - just get out there and find another guy!
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-18-2004
Fri, 06-10-2005 - 8:01pm

sorry to be so blunt here but --" Did you have sex"... you said it's been a mnth and you took your profiles down.. was that because he was trying to get somewhere?

just an assumption based on what i read.. the fact he didn't call for a few days was not a big deal to me it's the fact that you called him a few days ago and he has not returned your call.. something isnt right..

Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 06-10-2005 - 8:39pm

Oh, I'm sorry to hear that! I had something similar happen to me recently; we hadn't reached the point of dating exclusively but we had gone out a bunch of times and talked on the phone regularly, and then he just disappeared. I sent him one email but never heard anything back (that was about a month ago), so I've moved on.

It sucks, but it happens, unfortunately. I do wish people could at least say something rather than just disappearing (once you've gone out more than a couple times), but some people just have a problem with being straightforward and feel more comfortable disappearing.

I wish I could be more hopeful, but as LG said, a change in behavior like this isn't a good sign. Sorry!

Sheri

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-17-2004
Fri, 06-10-2005 - 9:54pm
Yes, we did have sex... I think that's why I'm so upset. But I do have some new news.. he just text messaged me. He said he has had a long week, traveling for business, and he's on his way home tonight. I do agree that his behavior is odd. And why can't he pick the phone... he can't be that busy!!
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-07-2005
Fri, 06-10-2005 - 9:57pm

Possibly he got scared when the relationship changed to one of exclusivity. Maybe he THOUGHT he could handle it and wanted it, but the reality of the situation has him running fast. The dating part is fun but so many just can't handle the real relationship part. Sorry this happened to you. Better to know this now than later. I know it hurts, but I'd move on...

Sunshine

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-07-2005
Fri, 06-10-2005 - 9:59pm

We posted just about the same time, when you posted your update. I would still be wary of his different behavior. Time will tell. Good luck.

Sunshine

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-18-2004
Sat, 06-11-2005 - 1:25pm

i would be wary, especially after what you just posted. Often some men, not all, I don't want to stereotype, but they won't or don't have to work as hard once they "get it"...

I think in my experience i never move that soon.. when I have I have noticed the man not as interested. But I do know and have seen the opposite happen as well. But it's not a good sign that he is not pursuing as much especially after that.. The ones that i know after that , that are really into you will continue to pursue just as much..

so be cautioned and keep dating others..

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-18-2004
Sat, 06-11-2005 - 1:27pm
oh also another mental note.. when US "females" have sex, we often have higher expecations of the r'ship..or what it means.. MEn usually donot... so try not to attach to much to that..
Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sat, 06-11-2005 - 1:33pm

Was this the first you heard of him having to travel for business? That seems odd to me, that he wouldn't have mentioned it. I'd be very leary of it just being an excuse.

Did you respond to the text? What did you say?

Sheri

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2005
Sat, 06-11-2005 - 2:06pm

I know where you are coming from- my words of advice- try to block him and the whole situation out of your mind. I think it is good advice to move on- I know it is hard- especially when you really like the guy- but you HAVE to try! Try to distract yourself- whatever you like to do- keep a busy schedule- be good to yourself- pamper yourself, go shopping, etc. I have been there- absolutely crazy- just wanting to know what is going on.
There is another great guy around the corner- you will find him- stay positive!!

Best of luck- AND KEEP SMILING!!!

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