aww, shucks, he's on the rebound
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| Fri, 03-31-2006 - 8:41am |
Hey Ladies, I talked to a guy from eHarmony for the first time on the phone last night. He is so cool! He has a clever sense of humor...I love it! He is very intelligent and sweet too. We have so much in common it's amazing. Here's the BUT...(as if the title didnt give it away) He was engaged to be married just two months ago and finally really broke everything off beginning of February.
If there is anything I've learned about men/relationships, you don't date someone on the rebound. I just dont know what to do now. He said they are NOT in contact and havent been for a month. He broke it off with her b/c he realized she was definitely not for him. I asked him just how much he broke her heart and if she calls upset wanting to talk still. He insists that there is no chance for them to reconcile and she does not call (she even lives out of state in iowa, far from tx-so thats good). I guess a red flag may be how can a person go from being engaged all the way to you-are-not-the-one-for-me all in 5 months -of dating...LOL...they only dated 5 months. A concern of mine would be would I have to be careful that this guy doesn't "fall in and out of love" with me leaving me duped.. Is he that wreckless, impulsive or emotionally jaded that he thinks he is in love and then comes down to a reality that leaves someone standing there crying.
Alright ladies, how should I proceed with this one!?
Talking with him was so much fun. He stands out drastically from all the other guys I have talked to. But I keep reminding myself of previous experiences with men on the rebound. YOu just dont date someone who is on the rebound and expect anything real out of it. Hhmm, could he be an exception though?

Honestly, I'd be more concerned about the fact that he got engaged and then left her in the space of 5 months than about the fact that it's a recent breakup. I mean, neither is good, but a rebound can be cured with the passage of time. Here, the signs of "infatuation junkie" are definitely there...and that's not something that gets cured so easily.
Inevitably these guys are the charmers too. If you proceed, do so VERY cautiously.
Sheri
It's so odd because he comes across as a very practical and logical person on the phone like his head is on straight, but then knowing that he was capable of becoming engaged within 5 mos and breaking up all within the last couple months is... well, I guess I *wouldn't* be better off not knowing this about him...
Can you just go with the flow with him? I met someone accidentally back in Florida that is going through a divorce. I, too, have had my share of being the rebound gal and want nothing of it. This man and I have grew very close but the difference is I expect nothing from him but to be my friend. Will I be able to keep that thought process...not a clue in all honesty. I know if we lived close we would be hot and heavy. BUT...that doesn't mean that it can't be what it can be. We spend our evenings chatting and playing Dominoes on Yahoo Messenger. It is a lot of fun and we keep each other company. He does NOT keep me from pursuing other relationships. He knows about the guy I work with and he has said he hates that I go to work everyday with him here but we both know that this isn't ever going to be more than what it is right now.
I know that we are all looking for a relationship and wasting time with others may cause us to miss the right one. Who knows what the future holds. Just go with the flow for now.
F