Back in the dating scene at 46

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-15-2004
Back in the dating scene at 46
Sat, 09-16-2006 - 5:26pm

I’m going to put this on a few different places since there may be more than one way of looking at it…

I’m 46, been divorced for 4 years & didn’t even think about dating until a few months ago since I just had too many other things going on in my life, kids, job, moving to a new town… But I do enjoy doing things with other people & most of my friends are in relationships or married so can’t just up & do something. So now I’ve started looking around & checked out OLD. It’s been 23 years since I went on a date!!!! I’ve been contacted by a few different guys. I met 2 of them for a cup of coffee, then never again, which was fine with me, but I did enjoy talking to them & hearing about what kinds of things they did etc.. Another I went out with 2 times then he decided he wasn’t over his ex, which was ok by me since I wasn’t too interested either. Now I’ve been in contact with 2 more. I had coffee with one & then dinner, phone calls & I like spending time with him. Haven’t met the other yet but have had great emails & talks on the phone. But here’s my question.

I’ve been on my own now for over 4 years between separation & divorce. I do things my way, when I want, & work around my daughter’s schedule. Yes, it does get lonely & I like spending time with these men, but the idea of picking one or maybe even anyone to settle down with & have to adjust my schedule, house, habits etc. doesn’t sound too wonderful. I really just want to have a few good friends & these guys seem nice, but their goal seems to be finding a wife. So should these 2 know that I’m still looking at other people & not really interested in commitment but more in good friends? I mean maybe I’ll fall madly in love & want to settle down, but I can’t seem to imagine it at this point & none of these guys have sparked my interest that way. Anybody else ever feel this way?