Background Checks

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-14-2006
Background Checks
7
Wed, 05-03-2006 - 10:35pm

Hello,

I have heard of some horror stories from women and online dating. I am on Match and there are a couple of guys I have been speaking that seem great that i want to meet. Has anyone ever asked a guy specifically for his "real name" or social security number so they can run a background check? I feel awkward doing it.

thoughts?

Thanks

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-15-2004
Thu, 05-04-2006 - 4:16am
Not SS# as i would NEVER give mine out - but full name, of course. That SHOULD be given asap, as far as I am concerned - maybe after a couple emials - but for SURE prior to meeting.

Photobucket

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-15-2005
Thu, 05-04-2006 - 8:44am

I don't bother with a background check until it gets into serious dating.

A good agency only needs a full name and phone number, maybe address, to get all the information you want.


iVillage Member
Registered: 04-14-2006
Thu, 05-04-2006 - 11:50am

WHat about the simple online ones. there is US Search.com (which is only $19.95 for a whole check). Or http://www.matecheck.com (which i read about in another post here that is free for now and lets other women post thier experiences).

It just feels like i am invading his privacy even though I know it is about me and MY safety.

And do i ask him for his "real" address? if someone asked me that, i would not give it, why woudl he?

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-15-2005
Thu, 05-04-2006 - 12:01pm

I don't know anything about the online ones.

A family friend has an agency that I've used.

<<>>

You're not invading his privacy. The only stuff that's going to turn up is public record.

<<>>

I suspect you and I are talking about doing checks at different points. Like I said, I don't bother for just coffee meets, or guys I date a handful of times. If it's headed towards serious, then I do it...and by that time, I'd know where he lives.


iVillage Member
Registered: 03-16-2006
Thu, 05-04-2006 - 12:31pm

I'm with sisfox.

heather 5-18-10
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-17-2003
Thu, 05-04-2006 - 5:39pm
Hi, I agree with the rest who usually don't do a check until things go beyond 4 dates, say.
You can get info online with just a name (first and last) and city & state where he lives.
Also, if he lives in the same city as you, you can always check him out for free at the local court house, and look him up in the public records computers (we have them in our local court house on the main floor, they are free to use but there is usually a time limit).
Good luck to you & be safe!
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-15-2005
Fri, 05-05-2006 - 10:16am
Great post, vex - and some reminders there for even us old hands.