Been Awhile - A New Update - Need Help
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| Thu, 10-27-2005 - 2:20pm |
Hi to all!
It has been a long time since I have been here, but am in need of advice and help from all of you wonderful ladies.
Some of you know the story of "Peter", we met on match.com a few months ago, actually September. Things kind of got off to a rocky start, but long ago have been rectified and things were going absolutely fantastic. We hit it off great and the relationship has progressed and has been wonderful. When we first met, I kind of jumped the gun on a couple of issues and now I am wondering what the heck I am doing.
A couple of weeks ago, I spent the weekend with him at his house, it was really nice and wonderful. We went to dinner, took walks on the beach and just spent alot of time really getting to know each other. He was leaving for Vegas the next day, his parents live there and it was his dads 80th birthday. He told me he would call and that he would be back in a few days. Well, I didn't hear from him. He had back surgery last year and has a really bad back, so I was a little concerned for him and the long drive to Vegas, he also has pancreatitis. Well I called and his cell phone was turned off. So I waited a day or two and then tried again, still the phone was turned off. This has been a problem from the beginning of our relationship, and he said he had problems with it. So I waited another day as I was getting really concerned now, wondering if he was ok, if his family was ok. I also left messages at his house hoping that he would check them. Well, I finally heard back from him, and he had a severe pancreatitis attach and had been in the hospital for 4 days. He sounded awful when he called and had just gotten home late the previous night. He asked me to come down to his house and be with him, which I did. I knew he wasn't lying about the illness, as I saw all of his medication and the marks on his arms from the IV. I spent Saturday night and Sunday with him and drove back Monday morning for work.
We talked and we both said that we were falling for each other, and that he wanted me to bear with him in dealing with his illness, and some other issues that he has going on. When I left Monday morning, he told me he would call later, and he never did. Didn't even call to make sure that I got home ok, its about a 2 hour drive. He asked me to give him some space because when he deals with the pancreatitis, he is in alot of pain and needs rest. Well, that was Monday. I called him yesterday and left him a voice mail message letting him know that I was thinking of him and that I hoped he was ok and to call me. He didn't. So I called again this morning, and still nothing. So I called again and told him that I didn't know what was going on, that I wanted to be there for him so on and so forth, and that I really cared about him. Well, lo and behold, I was on match.com to close my account, and guess who was on line? PETER!!! So I sent him an e-mail and told him my feelings and that if he wanted to be in this relationship, then why was he on match. He said he didn't want to date or meet anyone else, but wanted to go on this incredible journey with me.
So, in a nutshell, sorry this is so long, but don't know what to think now. He still hasn't returned my call.
Should I write this off now? I told him that I would not be calling or e-mailing anymore. The ball is in his court but need to know if I should fish or cut bait??
HELP!!!!

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So it sounds like he didn't answer your question...if he wants to go on this "incredible journey" (gag) with you, why the heck is he active on match?
Actually, let me take a step back. Did you ever agree to date exclusively? You didn't say in your post.
Sheri
Thanks for your response...
He hasn't answered my question, because he isn't returning my call or e-mail as of yet. We discussed being exclusive, that we didn't want to date anyone else or meet anyone else. So I don't know why he is on match. We just discussed this on Sunday and we both said that we were falling for each other.
So I guess this one goes back to you?
Thanks for listening...
It sounds like he wants to string you along until something better comes his way, or he may be the unfaithful type. Either way you deserve better. He sounds selfish and insensitive as well. You have big danger signs here! Pull out now and count your loses, before you get in deeper and end up getting hurt even worse in the future.
Did you discuss taking your profiles down, and agree that you would both do so?
If he does call back, I wouldn't let him slide on not answering your question...it sounds like he's *saying* one thing and doing another. That's not cool, IMO.
Sheri
Your 2 cents means alot! Thank you for your response.
That is my initial gut feeling is to just let this go. I do know that he really was sick, however, you can't find time to call me, someone who cares and who drove 2 hours at midnight so that you wanted me to be with you? but, you have found time to log on to match.com and do whatever.
I believe you are right!!
Thank you for your response!
We did discuss taking down our profiles, and I did that. But then when I saw him on line, being sick and all, something isn't right. I am not calling or e-mailing anymore and I don't know if he will call me back after the message and e-mail that I left him this morning...
He needs space to deal with his pain? He is too much pain to call you back, but not in enough pain to be active on Match?
You are better than that. The ball is NOT in his court. It's in yours. Pass it to someone else. You deserve better.
ice cream flavors. Just keep telling yourself, you deserve better!
Ok, so now you know he's not a person who keeps his word. That would be pretty close to a dealbreaker to me, especially since he's blowing smoke at you with his non-answer.
Sheri
Thank you so much for that, you don't know how much that means!!
I am cutting bait - no more phone calls or e-mails.
What should I do if and when he does call?
Some more advice??
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