Been Awhile - A New Update - Need Help
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| Thu, 10-27-2005 - 2:20pm |
Hi to all!
It has been a long time since I have been here, but am in need of advice and help from all of you wonderful ladies.
Some of you know the story of "Peter", we met on match.com a few months ago, actually September. Things kind of got off to a rocky start, but long ago have been rectified and things were going absolutely fantastic. We hit it off great and the relationship has progressed and has been wonderful. When we first met, I kind of jumped the gun on a couple of issues and now I am wondering what the heck I am doing.
A couple of weeks ago, I spent the weekend with him at his house, it was really nice and wonderful. We went to dinner, took walks on the beach and just spent alot of time really getting to know each other. He was leaving for Vegas the next day, his parents live there and it was his dads 80th birthday. He told me he would call and that he would be back in a few days. Well, I didn't hear from him. He had back surgery last year and has a really bad back, so I was a little concerned for him and the long drive to Vegas, he also has pancreatitis. Well I called and his cell phone was turned off. So I waited a day or two and then tried again, still the phone was turned off. This has been a problem from the beginning of our relationship, and he said he had problems with it. So I waited another day as I was getting really concerned now, wondering if he was ok, if his family was ok. I also left messages at his house hoping that he would check them. Well, I finally heard back from him, and he had a severe pancreatitis attach and had been in the hospital for 4 days. He sounded awful when he called and had just gotten home late the previous night. He asked me to come down to his house and be with him, which I did. I knew he wasn't lying about the illness, as I saw all of his medication and the marks on his arms from the IV. I spent Saturday night and Sunday with him and drove back Monday morning for work.
We talked and we both said that we were falling for each other, and that he wanted me to bear with him in dealing with his illness, and some other issues that he has going on. When I left Monday morning, he told me he would call later, and he never did. Didn't even call to make sure that I got home ok, its about a 2 hour drive. He asked me to give him some space because when he deals with the pancreatitis, he is in alot of pain and needs rest. Well, that was Monday. I called him yesterday and left him a voice mail message letting him know that I was thinking of him and that I hoped he was ok and to call me. He didn't. So I called again this morning, and still nothing. So I called again and told him that I didn't know what was going on, that I wanted to be there for him so on and so forth, and that I really cared about him. Well, lo and behold, I was on match.com to close my account, and guess who was on line? PETER!!! So I sent him an e-mail and told him my feelings and that if he wanted to be in this relationship, then why was he on match. He said he didn't want to date or meet anyone else, but wanted to go on this incredible journey with me.
So, in a nutshell, sorry this is so long, but don't know what to think now. He still hasn't returned my call.
Should I write this off now? I told him that I would not be calling or e-mailing anymore. The ball is in his court but need to know if I should fish or cut bait??
HELP!!!!

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Thank you!!
Cutting bait - but what should I do when and if he ever calls? Should I take the call or not?
Absolutely right!!
What should I do when and if he ever calls? Should I take the call or ignore it?
You're not too worried about what to do when/if he calls, because you are too busy to take his call. Busy doing more for yourself then wasting a minute about his aches & pains. Which is what he will be talking about if he does call.
This guy sounds like a loser and a user. Sounds like after he spent some time with you he decided not to persue you. But he didn't have the balls to be a man and tell it like it is. He says he will call you and when he doesn't he figures you will put two and two together. It would be better if he had just been honest and stated his intentions. He should have said while I appreciate the time we had together I don't want to see you anymore. But it appears that we are dealing with another snake here. When a snake feels threatned it slithers away and hides. Now to add insult to injury he commits the noble act of turning off his cell phone so that you can't call him. Real nice and polite!
Well, I finally heard back from him, and he had a severe pancreatitis attach and had been in the hospital for 4 days. He sounded awful when he called and had just gotten home late the previous night. He asked me to come down to his house and be with him, which I did. I knew he wasn't lying about the illness, as I saw all of his medication and the marks on his arms from the IV. I spent Saturday night and Sunday with him and drove back Monday morning for work.
So you keep calling anyway, and he has been sick with his severe pancreatitis. Whatever!
This is the oldest one in the book. When I guy doesn't want to be around you anymore rather than be honest the guy will either hide, say he is sick in some way (they are particularly inventive when it comes to fabricating medical illnesses), some will claim car trouble (another easy lie), some will say it is the Birthday, or some other b.s. Anything but the truth when a guy doesn't want to see a girl anymore. So he lets you nurse his a**, and then pulls the dissapearing act again. What a sweetheart! So even if he is telling you the truth about the severe pancreatitis boo do you want to date a man that is weak, frail, and defective that you can't depend on and will play nurse to? He sounds like a horse with a broken leg to me. He needs to be taken out in the woods and shot. It would clearly be the best thing for him.
So it looks you got rid of real loser here. Just him go on with his life and take care of his defective pancreas. Feel sorry for the girl that does get stuck with him and has to nurse him. $%&* if I wanted to take care of sick people I would work in a nursing home. I would never want to play nurse maid to man I date. Why would anyone get involved with someone who is sick in the first place? I dated a midget once that asthma and was diabetic. Whew buddy! Let me tell you. Never again! Word! A lot of times it isn't just the body that is defective when someone has an illness. Their mind is gone as well. That was the case with that wee person I was cursed enough to meet.
May you meet a tall man that has nothing lacking in his body and his mind as well. May he have all his limbs and parts, and they be in good working order.
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