Being dishonest
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| Wed, 11-09-2005 - 10:35am |
Ok, First I just have to say that this really isn't a 'dating' issue but it has to do with conversing with someone online, getting to know them, and finding out that there are untruths in things they say....
I've been conversing with someone as friends for several months, we talk daily for at least 2 hours per session. I really started to feel like I was getting to know this person, I enjoyed our conversations and looked forward to talking to him. I was always open and honest in everything, never created a fake persona...I guess I was naive in thinking he was doing the same. Some things came to light in the past couple days that caused me to start questioning some of the details. It really hurts to think I've been duped in any way. I guess my questions are:
1)How would you go about getting your questions answered? I have no real concrete evidence, just that gut feeling and a couple of discrepencies in stories. How would be a good way to approach this subject without making accusations?
2)Has this ever happened to you? How long were you conversing before you figured out something was wrong and how did you handle it? Did you cut off all contact or actually try to understand why this person did this?
Sorry if this is hard to understand...I'm just kinda hurt and confused, maybe disappointed that I actually trusted this person. I know it's just the internet, but this is very depressing.

The things I think he is lying about is...1)his job(he either doesn't really have one or just lies about going to work. 2)'friends' that he speaks of.(I don't know if they're real or what because his stories are contradicting about how he know them)
I feel I must say that I'm not in this for a relationship, just a friendship..some of these things are petty that he would be lying about, but it's just the fact that he would lie that is confusing.
Hi there,
I had a friend who lied about a LOT of things. His gender, his age, his job etc. For over TWO years. When he finally confessed I was extremely hurt and ended the friendship. After a while he explained why he did what he did, he was having a bit of a gender identity crisis (He pretended to be a girl when he was actually a guy). Since he was only an internet friend and the likelihood that we would meet and have a RL friendship was slim, I forgave him and let it go. I just don't put too much stock in anything he says. If it was a RL friend I never wouldve forgiven him.
You always take that risk when you meet people online and the net is your sole means of "being" close to that person. But..dont let that make you become jaded. I have met several people offline (friends and my bf) and they turned out to be as honest as I was. Just like irl you take your chances..
Just slowly cut back contact with him if the lies bother you that much. Even if you confront him there is no way to be sure hes being honest with you.
:(