Being single

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-18-2003
Being single
19
Sat, 05-07-2005 - 11:45am

Being single is not a state-of-waiting to be in a relationship. It's not a phase to endure until you find "THE ONE".

 

 

 

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iVillage Member
Registered: 02-02-2004
In reply to: cl_jhoover21
Sat, 05-07-2005 - 7:59pm

You are right...being single can be great. There are so many opportunities for women now. It is not the same as it was for our mothers.

Thanks for the reminder. I am already doing some of those, especially the travel.

Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: cl_jhoover21
Sat, 05-07-2005 - 8:09pm

Oh, JH, I hope you don't think I am disputing the premise of the post at all! As I said in my original response, I think it's a great post and a great reminder.

I've explained why I poked a bit of lighthearted fun at the list...so I won't repeat myself, but that doesn't take away from the fact that there are a lot of good things about being single.

Sheri

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-03-2005
In reply to: cl_jhoover21
Sat, 05-07-2005 - 9:25pm
I enjoy being single. But yes, when you have kids the rules are slightly different. Actually, I think there must be something to singlehood because I can't tell you how many older, more experienced, married women have told me that I should stay single. LOL
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-31-2003
In reply to: cl_jhoover21
Sat, 05-07-2005 - 10:42pm

Here's the thing....I DO NOT want to get married. That's not to say that it could never happen, but I wouldn't bet on it. But I DO want a committed relationship. I want to be able to say, "Honey, I love you to death and I want us to grow old together. But do me a favor, eh? You do it at your house and I'll do it at mine, OK?"

I'm not asking for too much am I? :)

ABM

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-24-2004
In reply to: cl_jhoover21
Sun, 05-08-2005 - 9:30am

ABM -

I have a girlfriend who met her boyfriend online. They've been together almost four years now; after a year, he moved into a bigger house with the thought that she would move in and they would get married (he has two boys, 9 and 11). Both are divorced and 37 years old.

She never led him to believe that she WOULD move in, and in fact she has to an extent, but she has always kept her condo, too. She is an only child with no children of her own, and when the "chaos" or whatever it is of life with 3 men gets to her, she can retreat to her condo with a cup of coffee or a book.
Works for them!!

And jhoover, no offense meant about the things you can do when you're single. Nobody knows better than those of us who have been married the real value of being single!! :-)

Tracy

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-03-2004
In reply to: cl_jhoover21
Sun, 05-08-2005 - 9:49am
The best thing about being single is the peace and quiet: when I come home from work (if my daughter is at her dad's that is), in the evenings when all I want to do is read a book (no tv sounds, yay!), getting myself ready for work in the mornings.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-19-2003
In reply to: cl_jhoover21
Sun, 05-08-2005 - 10:41am

Ok, sorry but I have to add another perspective on this otherwise great list.

I was in a very long-term relationship with a guy whom I planned to marry and I was still able to do everything on that list. In fact, being single has not added any benefit to my life other than being able to date or sleep with as many guys as I want and that has only turned into an endless frustrating game that I wish I never got into. I'm no more independent or free than I was when I with my ex.

I do see your point in listing the advantages, it's just that I can't delude myself into thinking that not having someone to love and share my life, time, interests and successes with is somehow is just as much fun or fulfilling as having that special love. Maybe I'm just too used to being someone but I just can't personaly relate to any of those advantages.

I'm working on becoming a better single, though. It's just taking longer than I thought.
(sigh)

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-03-2004
In reply to: cl_jhoover21
Sun, 05-08-2005 - 10:46am
I truly believe that singlehood has been easy for me because I know and like myself and enjoy my own company.
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-24-2004
In reply to: cl_jhoover21
Sun, 05-08-2005 - 2:05pm
You know, I truly think the best thing about living single is that you are living to please YOURSELF, and not someone else!
Linda

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