Best Friend or Boyfriend

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-27-2003
Best Friend or Boyfriend
Tue, 06-17-2003 - 12:34pm
Suppose you had a male best friend, but you are interested in something more. You are interested in him becoming your boyfriend. Is this the best of both worlds or a recipe for a mistake?

I know this question doesn't really pertain to on-line relationships. Since we are all women that have been in some type of relationship, I thought I would seek your advice.


Em ;-)

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 06-17-2003 - 2:14pm
I think it could be the best of both worlds as long as there is mutual chemistry and attraction. In the most ideal situation, you are both single and available and the transition happens naturally (which for me would mean the man asking me out and/or making a pass at me as I am happy to flirt, be warm, approachable etc but I am comfortable when the man does the pursuing in the beginning).
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Tue, 06-17-2003 - 8:50pm
It depends, I have a male bestfriend and we have went through the motions of talking about our feelings and saying how much we wanted the other but do not act on it. One we are co-workers, two the friendship is to great. Some people are just that even if there seems to be an attraction, we have both accepted we are attracted and what each other want but feel the friendship is more important.

As Deena said though it can work it has to be mutual. For me, I was able to talk to my friend about because we are that close but you handle it as you see fit.


iVillage Member
Registered: 04-16-2003
Wed, 06-18-2003 - 3:16pm
Emilou, your questions are all welcome here. Our speciality might be on line dating, but we are not strangers to any other topics. lol

First of all, you should confess your love. Well, not like all dramatic and stuff. Maybe get a friend to mention what a great couple you two would make. Like a little bird in his ear sort of deal, then talk to him yourself and just mention that you have this thing for him. OR, you could just do like me...and JUMP HIM ONE NIGHT WHEN YOU TWO ARE ALONE!! lol

Goodluck anyways and let us know!


P.S. TO tell you the truth, I think Deena and Marie are right on!!

Avatar for thousandays
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-28-2003
Thu, 06-19-2003 - 3:28pm
I certainly hope it's the best of both worlds but from experience, it can be a bit tricky. There's the risk of losing the friendship if the romance doesn't ignite. I think being open and honest in communication is key tho (as it so often is in so many other things). I'd start out with increasing affection and work from there. At least, that's what I'm doing now with my best-friend-fingers-crossed-turns-boyfriend.