This bites
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| Thu, 02-17-2005 - 9:59pm |
Y'all know I really liked the guy. But he's just not ready for what I want and I think he seriously misled me. So I had to send this email - it sucks but I gotta do what I gotta do. We were just short of 2 months. I thought about doing this by phone or in person, but I really don't want to see/hear his reaction. He can either get back to me or ghost. Whatever.
.....
So here’s the thing. I know you said it seemed soon for me to bring up talk of being exclusive, but, you still supposedly agreed to it. Ten days later not only is your profile still up but you’re also "active within 24 hours". This is exactly the kind of game I don’t have the time or energy for. All I needed was to know if we were on the same page, and obviously we’re not.
I do like you enough to not completely write you off. But at the moment you don’t seem interested in pursuing a relationship with me beyond casual convenience. (Which, by the way, would have been fine if you had been honest instead of giving me the false hope that it could have been more.)
So if at some point you decide you do want more and are ready/willing/able to get real with me, let me know and we can give it a shot and see if it works out. For my part, I’ll leave the possibility open. I do think we clicked pretty well and I’d like to think it’s just a matter of the timing not being quite right.

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How disappointing for you! Was being online the only thing that prompted your email, or did something else happen?
amjay
Phoenix,
Sorry to hear about your issue. Perhaps something else was the root cause. You'll probably never know. I caught my previous girlfriend by mistake on-line 6 weeks after we specifically agreed to be exclusive. And that included taking our profiles down. Her excuse was good (I went on-line to show a friend a profile) but it ended less than a week later and for other reasons. The right guy will come along.
TT
Hi PHX,
Sorry this has happened to you! It is Most disappointing, as you finally let yourself let go of some of the 'armadillo armor' and saw things that could be about a lasting relationship....it will take a little while, but you will soon move your heart to a happier spot!
Now, that said...It Sucks!!! :P I did the same, too, but we had actually spoken quite early that when we Did become intimate, it would be Understood that we were exclusive. I waited a month, and I have Now learned that I will Never do that again without having that 'chat' with his full attention and compliance to every part of it--And...if either of us is "active within 24 hours', that is a Dealbreaker!
I Know they say that OLD is like a 'Playboy' for a man at times, and also, I think their curiosity and ego lead them back to 'just look' and it 'means nothing'',,but, wow, Try to explain that to your Feelings/Emotions when you See them back there! Really, really hard to do!
Hope he responds to you like a gentleman. If not, well, better to know now...that is little consolation, but hope it helps!
Roll on, Little Rock!
Truly,
Cupcake
I'm sorry to hear about this. I think there must be something in the air. A similar thing happened to me a couple of weeks ago. The guy I had been dating for a year (we decided in October to really give it a good try) went on line. A friend call to tell me about someone else's profile and while I was looking for it I stumbled upon his. He knew I was out with friends that evening. Made me wonder how many times he did it while we were dating. To top it off, after he was caught, he told me he just didn't feel it for me. Amazing, two hours before that he was online telling me how much he missed me and what a wonderful weekend we had. He also told me he was only "trolling". How many fourty year old men use that term. In reality, I think he is a player wanna be. Not good looking enough to be a player.
Oh well, sounds like it is back to the drawing board for both of us. Don't let it get you too down.
First, sorry to hear this as I've been in this situation before. Hopefully the guy won't twist it and say, oh, I haven't been active but my browser just goes to it or my friend is using my account since it's paid in full for 3 months - just wait; I bet you get a lame excuse - guys like this can't handle the fact you found out who they really were, a big fat misleading liar! :-), arg!
Other than that, I truly applaud your courage to end this. Do you know how many women would go into denial or rationalize why it was still up. Seriously, let this post be a reminder to those with the same problem which happens a lot with on line dating.
Good things will happen for you; even if it's not now, this guy wasn't even close to being worthy of YOU.
The Peanut
PHX...
Bummer. I'm so sorry to read that you've got to do this.
But you're right, and you rock for being willing to step up and just do what needed to be done. If he said "it's too soon" but agreed to it anyway, and is still cruising the site, then he's trying to play both ends and that isn't cool.
Hang in there. ;)
Does anyone know for sure what "active within 24 hours" means?
Do you just log in to the site or have to actively browse or something?
MS
A man's got to do what a man's got to do.
A woman must do what he can't.

MS>>Does anyone know for sure what "active within 24 hours" means?
Login or reply to email (at least a reply used to generate an active). And 24 hours can be up to 3 days which is when the next time "active within 3 days" kicks in. Lately Match seems to put the "3 days" time period up much quicker than before.
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