Blast from the Past; WTF is Up With Him?
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| Tue, 04-18-2006 - 11:16am |
I met a guy about 1.5 years ago on OLD. He lived in another state (2 hours away) and when we met we clicked and probably saw each other the equivalent of about 4-5 dates. During this time we had sex, but eventually the distance became a problem. The last year we stayed in touch intermittently and would have dinner if he ever was in town. We didn't have sex during this time cause mainly I was seeking more; and he was just passing through town.
Fast forward to now, this same guy has moved to my state and apparently is seeking a LTR. Since his arrival, he has been steadily calling and we have had several dinner dates. He will call 3-4 times a week wanting to have dinner 2-3 times a week. Great conversation and we enjoy each other's company. Last week we had dinner (4th time) and he asked me for a hug/kiss at the end of the date. I hugged him and then he tried to french kiss me. I stopped the kiss and his reaction was "what's wrong, I'm not doing it right?"! He seemed put off by my behavior whereas I was surprised by his behavior. The next day I called him and told him that he overstepped the boundary. Mind you, when we hang out his conversations to me are about where do single people hang out and do I have any single friends I can hook him up with. With those types of conversations (even though I find them disappointing), my assumption is he is not interested in me for a relationship; just friendship. Anyway he apologized and then made a comment about "well when people are hanging out isn't it just assumed that there is interest?" My response was "well if you are talking about other women or seeking the singles scene, why would I think you were interested in me!" The next day while at my hairdresser he called and we ended up getting into a debate (me, my hairdresser and girlfriend) about when a woman is interested in a guy; there isn't any conversation, they just go with the flow. He was talking third-person but we all felt as if it were directly related to our situation.
On Saturday evening I was going to a couples event with him and had previously asked him to be my escort. He showed up, complimented me, and we had a very nice evening. I must admit that I enjoyed his company and actually was pleased at how personable and funny he was at the affair. I told him that I appreciated him accepting the invitation and enjoyed the outing with him. He asked me for a hug at the end (which I obliged) and made some comment about "well I guess all the other couples are probably going home together." I didn't bother commenting but while laying on my bed that night, I started thinking about him and basically thinking, "mmh, I think I like him!"
Well last night we talked and BOOM he asked me if "he was my girlfriend's type!". My gf was visiting from NY and left on Sunday. He thought she was attractive. I told him "I didn't know and if he was interested; why didn't he say something or ask her." He then went on to discuss the couples event; how I had some cool friends, and how some of the women were attractive and also that he is lazy right now since he is transitioning; but if he lost 60 lbs. he could have any woman he wanted. We ended the conversation, and I was totally pissed off and hurt!
I will say, when we talk again I'm going to let him know that I don't want to hear about other women and if he is looking for one; then he should go back online or find someone else to talk too then questioning me about my associates or friends. Geez!
Help me out here -- WTF is up with him? Is he trying to be manipulative or what? Is he interested in me or what??

I started reading your story and I was like "cool" you found someone that was in your life all the while then as I kept reading I was like "ugh, another jerk".....
I'm from the old school, if a man is interested in YOU he will make it known. I don't buy the "he's intimidated or scared" ... please!
Totally grody. He sounds like one of my long-ago ex's, narcissitic, insecure, emotionally scarred, insincere and ragingly egocentric all at the same time. What a combo.
I agree, he's looking for the booty-call while he gets the lay of his new neighborhood land. Beware of this guy. Man, I hate it when these totally lost souls ask about your gf's availability...way too revealing of their lack of character.
NEXT!
Chick
I think he is trying to mess with your head and it's working. I would NEXT him as a friend or someone with boyfriend potential....JMO.
E