Blech
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| Wed, 03-23-2005 - 10:40pm |
I had some new matches on eH today. One requested communication and he seemed like a real Bible Beater - he listed the most influential person in his life as Jesus Christ and said that one of the 3 things he was most thankful for was "His Faith". I do not have anything against people who have such strong religious conviction, but it is definitely not me. But I looked at his multiple choice questions and this was the kicker. One of his was: How do you feel about premarital sex? and the choices were:
a) I am completely opposed to it
b) as long as marriage is imminent, it is okay
c) in the context of a loving relationship, it is okay
d) I accept sex as a natural part of dating
My response was a free form one that said I thought that this was something better discussed after two people had actually met because it was a very personal question. No surprise, he closed me! LOL. Not that I didn't want him to and not that I shouldn't have gone ahead and closed him myself on that question. I know that is a big thing for some people, but how rude to ask it right off the bat! That is a total turnoff for me regardless of which way his answer goes.

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Well, they do have a section where you can put your own religious preferences as well as what preferences you are looking for in a match down to the actual religion. I put mine as "spiritual but not religious" and before I put a screen on actual religions, I got a ton of Bible Beaters - mostly the ones that said things like "I accept Jesus Christ as my personal savior and the best thing that ever happened to me was being 'saved'". I screened out Baptists as a religion and my number of highly religious people has dropped considerably while my number of matches has stayed relatively the same. I think that in Texas, the majority of the highly religious people are Baptist so that helped a lot.
However, I think it is a generalization to say that "eH has people more serious about religion and for those that are not, it might not be the best site" (sorry paraphrasing). Yes, I will definitely agree that I have encountered more religious people on there, but I have also met more guys from that site than from the others combined and I am not a religious person. Most of the people I met seemed to be similar to me or mainstream Christian (those people that attend irregularly to semi-regularly). So while I think the point is valid, it is not to say that a "spiritual but not religious person" like me couldn't find success too.
amjay - eH does claim to not be specifically a Christian site but they really are. They don't want to lose $$ and numbers from all us heathens so they don't tell us what they really think! :-)
I agree that religion is a personal issue, but it's also a make-or-break one with some people so it's only fair to be really up front about it. I always checked 'spiritual not religious' too and got more than one response from people who disappeared when I reminded them of it. I used to deal with it by saying at the outset that I don't belong to any religion, is that important to you?
This thread reminds me of the episode of Frasier when he kept screwing up and missing his first date with a woman he thought was so incredibly hot ... he keeps begging her to reconsider and finally she gives him one more chance as he offers to drive her someplace that will take like 8 hours. They get in the car and as they settle in, she changes the radio station from his opera to a country station and begins espousing some loony tune cult thing...
Good question tonka! Once I was so fed up with all the very religious people that they were sending me that I sent a complaint email to them about it. They basically told me that it was more or less my fault b/c I had put on there that I would accept anyone of any religion. But the whole time I am thinking, "well, shouldn't your snazzy matching system based on 29 points of compatibility understand that someone like me is not really going to get along with someone that is highly religious??" Another friend of mine who is a bit more religious than me (one of those moderate Christians that attends church now and then) got a lot of very religious people and she asked too and they told her the same thing.
Wow! I can't believe that your guy would be so put out by that. I just think that sometimes it is very interesting that people who say they are devout Christians that can be some of the least accepting people out there. Yes, I agree that having similar spiritual views is something to consider, but I think I would be able to get along with just about anyone as long as they were not fanatical or self-righteous about their religious beliefs. But oh well - if he was like that, at least you found out pretty early although not early enough to save yourself half a plane ticket!
I do figure this guy was screening me to make sure he could find a virgin bride or at least someone that shared his views. I had come up with a much more snotty reply but wound up not sending it b/c I was curious what he would do with the polite "it's none of your business" one that I sent!
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