this bothers me

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-27-2005
this bothers me
4
Sat, 06-25-2005 - 1:19pm
When I look up a guy's profile and he says to send a smile or message(collect is ok), and I do send a smile and he sends one back. So I then send a message, collect, he did say it was ok to do this, and he doesn't even open the message and I notice he was online. What up with that? He lets on he wants to know you and then does this. It just bothers me when this happens.


Edited 6/25/2005 2:07 pm ET ET by dream_angel2005
Avatar for phoenixmama
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2003
Sat, 06-25-2005 - 2:12pm

If I had a nickel for every time that happened to me.... okay, it hasn't happened a LOT, but I could at least trade 'em in for a quarter. ;)

Rule #1 of online dating: Don't take it personally.

Maybe he's met someone and just hasn't taken his profile down yet. Maybe he smiled because he *thought* he was interested, but then he noticed something incompatible in your profile. Or maybe (and most likely) he's just a flake. There are a LOT of flakes on OLD.

Rule #2 of online dating: Don't get too hung up on any one person. Until you start dating someone regularly, always be aware that they may 'ghost' (disappear) at any time without warning or reason.

Yep, it sucks, but that's just how it goes. We've discussed it a lot - check this out and read some of the old threads...

http://members.tripod.com/cl-jhoover21-ivil/id64.html

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-13-2003
Sat, 06-25-2005 - 5:48pm
What I think he should do though, is at least decline the message if he isn't interested in me so that I'll know for sure what's going on. It's when he goes on the site off and on throughtout the day and leaves the message untouched. I don't know if he's contemplating whether or not to read it or what.
Avatar for phoenixmama
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2003
Sat, 06-25-2005 - 6:22pm

Rule #3 of online dating: checking someone's login status throughout the day may be hazardous to your mental health.

Especially on the weekend. Go do something!

Rule #4 (Murphy's Law of OLD): The worst time to look for a date is when you actually have *time* to date. Once you forget it and make yourself too busy with other friends/interests, watch the offers come rolling in!

~~~

BTW, Rules 1-3 are time-tested truths that I guarantee all the experienced OLD'ers will agree with. #4 is something I just pulled out of my arse... but it often seems that way... and it's as good an excuse as any to improve your life, date or no date!

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-13-2003
Sat, 06-25-2005 - 6:34pm
I wasn't checking on his login status. He was just online some of the times I was. I knew that because there were smiles in the place that tells you your contacts are online, that's all.