Bringing up taking down profiles

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-08-2003
Bringing up taking down profiles
2
Thu, 12-22-2005 - 1:54pm

How long would you wait to bring up the subject of taking down a profile after dating for a specific legnth of time?

I've been seeing someone for a little over two months and it is upsetting to find out not only is his profile is up, but is currently active within the last week.

Any advice would be welcome.

Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 12-22-2005 - 2:16pm

I bring the issue of removing profiles up when we discuss and agree to exclusivity, which happens before we sleep together, because I'm not comfortable sleeping with someone who's still out there looking for other dates.

So for me, it's not so much at a specific time as tied to where we are in the relationship.

Sheri

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-2005
Thu, 12-22-2005 - 4:09pm

For me, I will bring it up, when I am ready to take MY profile down. I still have my profile up, and it's not b/c I am looking for someone else, but I have made a few male friends since joing OLD sites and I don't find anything wrong with that. No one that I have met or dated, and if my SO wanted me to take my profile down, then I would. But until he asks me to, it will stay up.

I don't think that if someone's profile is up it means they are actively looking. My profile is up and I am NOT actively looking, but I do receive the occasional messages and I choose to delete them or respond to them. Now if the shoe were on the other foot... hmmm... right now in our stage, which is going on 4 months, I would not mind. I don't think it's a big deal. He is into me, and I think it is harmless. But we would probably have the exclusivity talk, and talk about what made us uncomfortable/comfortable. He is not talking to anyone else, and he has yet to ask me if I am talking to anyone else. Currently I am. I text/email about 4 other guys right now. But I met them before Teddy and I got serious or stepped things up. I just find them as friends. If the subject ever comes up, and Teddy asks me I will be honest and tell him I have friends, and I assume that is when he will bring up exclusivity. I find that when the man brings it up, it always goes much smoother....