Awww, Peanut! I am so sorry! You really have had a rough week. As everyone has said, you also amaze me with your positive outlook and ability to always see the silver lining.
You'd been saying that you could sense some things were changing with you. I think that goes to show that we should all listen to our intuition because chances are it is right!
But if he doesn't realize what a catch he has in you, then it is his fault! You deserve to be with someone that will appreciate you completely and entirely for who you are.
I'd say to keep your chin up, but of course you will! Good luck and I hope you feel better physically from the car wreck too!
Your positive attitude about life always amazes me :) You are one of the most upbeat people I have ever 'met', and you're always a great example. I know you'll meet a fantastic guy who will truly admire the beauty that is you!
Holly
PS: You mentioned your jaw bothering you from the car accident. Get that checked out! That happened to my best friend, and it turns out her car accident caused TMJ, which required her to get braces, and eventually a retainer to realign her jaw. Best wishes.
<<...he could go all weekend or week without drinking as he did last weekend its just when he's in the environment and he doesn't get drunk just likes that constant buzz and lifestyle...>>
A little OT, but do you think he has a drinking problem? Not all alcholics present themselves in the streotypical manner...falling down drunk, abusive and drinking 24/7. Some drink occasionally, but still "can't" live without it. Some lead very "normal" lives and never miss work,etc. and the alcoholism is hard to detect. They also never believe they have a problem.
In any event, you wouldn't want to be a part of that, BTDT. It would be such a hard road to travel.
One of these days he'll wake up and realize what an empty/lonely lifestyle he's leading and it may be too late.
Anyway, I hope you're feeling at least a little better today. Time for Peanut to heal.
Hey sweetie, sorry to hear this but SO glad to see you are bringing the patented positive "Nut" attitude to this situation ;-)!
And for better or worse, this is just affirmation that it really does take a good 4-6 months of dating for the real person to come out. I'm sorry he wasn't who you thought he was in the beginning and more importantly, that it turns out that who he really is isn't someone you're compatible with.
I don’t know; someone else asked me that. What is a binge drinker and what is an alcoholic? Ironically I didn’t see this early on it just started happening lately.
I was just checkin in on this board and saw your post, I am sorry to hear about your acceident, hope you are feeling better and especially sorry about the bf, I unbderstand totally what you are saying ... been there and done that.... keep trudging on it only gets easier.......... At first I thought the nerve of him to say you would come crawling back to him, but I am not surprised......... men who use to tell me that I always enjoyed them waiting around to see if I would do such...........NOT I moved on and they could never understand why!!!!
Actually I'm not really sure what the difference is. I think both casaes are dangerous scenarios. However, I do know that an alcoholic absolutley can't live without it. Some may be able to go a week or even 2. But at some point they just gotta HAVE that drink.
That's a MAJOR difference from saying, "Gee, I'd really enjoy a glass of wine (or whatever) with dinner tonight." I'm a member of this latter group. I very rarely drink, but on occasion I do really enjoy a cocktail or two.
The first time I was single I dated a guy who seemed very much like your now ex. I know in his case he just HAD to go drinking sveral times a week. That was in my 20's and just figured the guy liked to party. He was successful for his age and was a hard working guy. I liked to party a bit back then too so it really wasn't an issue. Which led me to think that I only saw the tip of the iceberg. (I left him when I caught him cheating with his ex GF.) I found out years later that he ended up checking himself into rehab.
But your ex may not be. That's the point. Sometimes it's just hard to tell unless you live day in, day out with them.
In any case, if he places more importance on partying with friends than spending time with you, you're better off. It seems a little immature to me. Apparently he wasn't planning on making any concessions and you would have just ended up beating your head against a wall. This was my concern last week re: my BF. I didn't want to get into that.
Aww, peanut. I don't have time to read the whole thread but I just wanted to say I'm so sorry. He SO doesn't know what he's losing. It really sucks. I hope you can do something for yourself this weekend -- get a manicure, or buy yourself some new earrings, ok? At least that always cheers me up.
My ex was a binge drinker and borderline alcoholic although he functioned in regards to work and stuff but it affected his personal relationships, especially with me. At first I just thought it was his background, he is British/Irish and I thought it was just a regular thing but when it turned into us going out and him literally drinking himself into oblivion it became a major problem. Some of his friends made comments to me about him being an alcoholic. He drank this way several times a week. It got to the point where he would act completely obnoxious and say really inappropriate things and then towards the end it became verbal abuse. It was somewhat heartbreaking to see him go in a downward spiral because we had a good time together and beneath the emotional problems I think he had a good heart but he's damaged goods. Ultimately, a big fight we had while he was drunk led to our break-up.
I'm sorry to hear about your break-up, mine was in September and I still think about him even though it's for the best. I actually moved 800 miles away in February so I could make a fresh start (not just because of him but life in general) so I'm enjoying myself now.
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Awww, Peanut! I am so sorry! You really have had a rough week. As everyone has said, you also amaze me with your positive outlook and ability to always see the silver lining.
You'd been saying that you could sense some things were changing with you. I think that goes to show that we should all listen to our intuition because chances are it is right!
But if he doesn't realize what a catch he has in you, then it is his fault! You deserve to be with someone that will appreciate you completely and entirely for who you are.
I'd say to keep your chin up, but of course you will! Good luck and I hope you feel better physically from the car wreck too!
Your positive attitude about life always amazes me :) You are one of the most upbeat people I have ever 'met', and you're always a great example. I know you'll meet a fantastic guy who will truly admire the beauty that is you!
Holly
PS: You mentioned your jaw bothering you from the car accident. Get that checked out! That happened to my best friend, and it turns out her car accident caused TMJ, which required her to get braces, and eventually a retainer to realign her jaw. Best wishes.
<<...he could go all weekend or week without drinking as he did last weekend its just when he's in the environment and he doesn't get drunk just likes that constant buzz and lifestyle...>>
A little OT, but do you think he has a drinking problem? Not all alcholics present themselves in the streotypical manner...falling down drunk, abusive and drinking 24/7. Some drink occasionally, but still "can't" live without it. Some lead very "normal" lives and never miss work,etc. and the alcoholism is hard to detect. They also never believe they have a problem.
In any event, you wouldn't want to be a part of that, BTDT. It would be such a hard road to travel.
One of these days he'll wake up and realize what an empty/lonely lifestyle he's leading and it may be too late.
Anyway, I hope you're feeling at least a little better today. Time for Peanut to heal.
Hey sweetie, sorry to hear this but SO glad to see you are bringing the patented positive "Nut" attitude to this situation ;-)!
And for better or worse, this is just affirmation that it really does take a good 4-6 months of dating for the real person to come out. I'm sorry he wasn't who you thought he was in the beginning and more importantly, that it turns out that who he really is isn't someone you're compatible with.
Sheri
I don’t know; someone else asked me that. What is a binge drinker and what is an alcoholic? Ironically I didn’t see this early on it just started happening lately.
Hey SP:
I was just checkin in on this board and saw your post, I am sorry to hear about your acceident, hope you are feeling better and especially sorry about the bf, I unbderstand totally what you are saying ... been there and done that.... keep trudging on it only gets easier.......... At first I thought the nerve of him to say you would come crawling back to him, but I am not surprised......... men who use to tell me that I always enjoyed them waiting around to see if I would do such...........NOT I moved on and they could never understand why!!!!
<>
Actually I'm not really sure what the difference is. I think both casaes are dangerous scenarios. However, I do know that an alcoholic absolutley can't live without it. Some may be able to go a week or even 2. But at some point they just gotta HAVE that drink.
That's a MAJOR difference from saying, "Gee, I'd really enjoy a glass of wine (or whatever) with dinner tonight." I'm a member of this latter group. I very rarely drink, but on occasion I do really enjoy a cocktail or two.
The first time I was single I dated a guy who seemed very much like your now ex. I know in his case he just HAD to go drinking sveral times a week. That was in my 20's and just figured the guy liked to party. He was successful for his age and was a hard working guy. I liked to party a bit back then too so it really wasn't an issue. Which led me to think that I only saw the tip of the iceberg. (I left him when I caught him cheating with his ex GF.) I found out years later that he ended up checking himself into rehab.
But your ex may not be. That's the point. Sometimes it's just hard to tell unless you live day in, day out with them.
In any case, if he places more importance on partying with friends than spending time with you, you're better off. It seems a little immature to me. Apparently he wasn't planning on making any concessions and you would have just ended up beating your head against a wall. This was my concern last week re: my BF. I didn't want to get into that.
Stay tough little Peanut!
Edited 5/12/2005 3:04 pm ET ET by luv2004
Aww, peanut. I don't have time to read the whole thread but I just wanted to say I'm so sorry. He SO doesn't know what he's losing. It really sucks. I hope you can do something for yourself this weekend -- get a manicure, or buy yourself some new earrings, ok? At least that always cheers me up.
hugs,
sposa
My ex was a binge drinker and borderline alcoholic although he functioned in regards to work and stuff but it affected his personal relationships, especially with me. At first I just thought it was his background, he is British/Irish and I thought it was just a regular thing but when it turned into us going out and him literally drinking himself into oblivion it became a major problem. Some of his friends made comments to me about him being an alcoholic. He drank this way several times a week. It got to the point where he would act completely obnoxious and say really inappropriate things and then towards the end it became verbal abuse. It was somewhat heartbreaking to see him go in a downward spiral because we had a good time together and beneath the emotional problems I think he had a good heart but he's damaged goods. Ultimately, a big fight we had while he was drunk led to our break-up.
I'm sorry to hear about your break-up, mine was in September and I still think about him even though it's for the best. I actually moved 800 miles away in February so I could make a fresh start (not just because of him but life in general) so I'm enjoying myself now.
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