Brought to tears...
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| Mon, 02-21-2005 - 2:51am |
Okay, well its finally happened ! The "nasty grams" have finally gotten the best of me and I am literally in tears as I write this post.
Just got off of working 2nd shift at the hospital, had a 45 min. ride home, after arriving home I thought I would quick log on to check my OLD correspondence. I am minding my own business right and while I'm online I get an email from not a nice person (I'm trying to be polite now). A guy sends me an email totally attacking / ripping on some info that I had in my profile. The guy was accusing me of being a phoney etc.
Part of me wanted to respond back with a quick line like "i'm sorry to see that you must have been abused as a child". I didn't do that/give into that urge though, because I thought I am not even going to lower myself to this creep's level.
I'm in tears right now because all the things that I wrote when I created my profile are all true about me and I would add when I created my profile I was very genuine and sincere about the info that I had listed etc.
In a previous post,some of you may recall that I had mentioned that I was receiving nasty grams then already etc. . However, I can only take so much before my spirit feels the 'immense punch'.
I don't understand why I am receiving so much 'hate' mail ?
I've now had to set my profile back to Not visible just to avoid getting these types of hurtful emails. Sorry that I'm crying online to you all, but I've only been on the Match OLD site for just shy of 2 weeks and I never would have thought that participating in OLD activities would result in receiving mentally abusive correspondence such as what I have received thus far. Worst part is I paid for a 3 month membership. Now what ?

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1. Guys will only write if they're attracted
2. These people are critiquing your writing style - not you. How could they be critiquing you when they don't know you and have never met you?
3. There's probably something in your profile that is worded strongly that people are taking exception to -- guys are looking at your picture, getting ready to write, then noticing that your profile text "disqualifies" them somehow as a potential match - a certain percentage writes to you (aka nasty gram).
So I would first decide if online is really for you.
If so, (A) block all the profile ID's that sent nasty grams (B) re-word your profile and then re-post. Be sure you block those ID's because I'll bet a percent of them comes back after they read your new profile.
If you want - post or pm your profile ID and we can take a look -- if you'd prefer to keep it private -- check out JH's tips which probably contain enough information for you to update your profile.
PS - I really don't think you have a problem -- these creeps wouldn't be writing if they weren't attracted to something. Think about it - why would they waste their time? Do you know how many truly awful and unattractive profiles there are online? Do you think for an instant that they are writing to all of them? (ok well maybe some of the true oddballs are.. ).
Geesh, I'm sorry for mankind. I swear. You know why they write you nasty grams? Because they're own lives are pathetic. I don't take the time to write anyone I'm not ready to meet in real life so even if there's a profile that just makes me roll my eyes the worst I'll do is post it on here. I never contact them and tell them how vile I think they are.
I wouldn't shed a tear over these losers. Just block them and move on. This is the first step in thickening your skin for OLD.
Lisa
When I was doing OLD I used to get them and what I’d do is hit block. Once in a while I’d write omething to slam them back in a classy way then block so they couldn’t respond.
The reason they do it is because they are attracted to you (so by calling you a fake makes them feel better, sickness really). They also know they are way out of your league so to speak so knowing you’d never respond to go on a date they’d rather put you down. Just ignore them. I once had a guy I met out that was supposedly 40 but looked like 60 and so I wrote him a nice note after our date thanking him but we’re clearly not a match (yes he sent me hate mail and yes I blocked him). He wrote my friend and when she said thanks but we’re not a match on email he got rude, called her names, said she was ugly (and trust me, this gal was beautiful!) and so she said you know my friend went out with you once and she said you looked 20 years older in person, I’d refrain from sending a nasty email next time, ha! Sweet Karma baby – trust me, they will get their share.
Chin up!
SP
Edited 2/21/2005 11:46 am ET ET by small_peanut
Still feeling a little beat up right now over the recent nasty gram..... It was a direct assault on who I am as an individual. Working in healthcare, I give alot of myself to being compassionate & empathetic to the special needs of those who are medically ill, so, when I got home last night, it just really blasted me away to be attacked online for simply 'being' me.
As I mentioned in my starting post, my profile info was written with the utmost level of sincerity and honesty (no fiction whatsoever).
And yes, if any of you would be so kind as to be interested in critiqueing my profile, your suggestions would be greatly appreciated, as I am completely baffled as to why I am continuously drawing in the attention of emotionally unhealthy people. I will make my profile viewable in order that it can be critiqued and can be found by typing in; In2cashmerenprls .
Vexer, to answer your question, when I get winks or emails from men that I am not interested in I have simply been deleting the correspondence. I do know that there was some debate on that issue, as was discussed in some previous posts/threads etc. .
P.S. Thanks to all of you here for your emotional support this morning.:)
By the way, does anybody have an instant cure for 'puffy' eyelids .?.
Okay, I really need to pick myself off the ground now, dust myself off and focus on the new day. Dee
Your profile is fine. The only thing I can figure is you're too sophisticated for most Milwaukee men. I've been there, loved it, thought it would be a great place to live and I'd work at Harley for sure.
Are there men there that aren't blue collar? There must be because there is that awesome museum on the lake and other really neat cultural/artsy activities.
Lisa
LM-
Nothing wrong with it and I think I've seen several thousand (or so it seems).
I'm with SP on her assessment as well. I'm at a loss as to what I would fault you for on this profile.
I agree with what the others have said. It's a fine profile; maybe a few too many cliches, but we all fight that battle.
Like CCSR said, about the only thing that I wondered about was the username. It seems a bit much. But that hardly accounts for the nasty responses you seem to be getting.
I'd wonder- just how many are you getting? Why are they affecting you so much? They're just somebody you've never met and don't know out there... ignore them. Delete them and move on.
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