Cake-&-eat-it-too Case Study #13806
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Cake-&-eat-it-too Case Study #13806
| Fri, 03-11-2005 - 10:01pm |
This is the dude I thought was Mr. Perfect-on-paper... there's always a catch, isn't there? Here's his reply to my message:
"I would love to chat, but I will be up front with you. I do have a girlfriend. With that said, that doesn't mean that I wouldn't mind chatting with you, and being friends, especially if you have a lot of common interests"
My reply: "Hmm... feel free to contact me if things don't work out with the girlfriend & you become available again. I'm not looking through personals for a just-friend. Thanks for your honesty though."

Ughhh.... This one is so not worth your time.
I'm not sure how honest he was though. If he was truly being honest, his profile would have stated that he had a girlfriend and was online to meet new friends. JMHO.
Yuk. Why would you want him? You'll note he didn't say his gf knows he's out there, even if it's only for chatting or whatever.
I say block 'em.
Hi PHX,
This is why I feel I have become 'guarded', or many would say 'jaded' where OLD is concerned! I don't like it, but I have an "if it looks too good to be true, it probably IS" viewpoint.
What irks me is that guy says "to be honest"--well, if you WERE honest, you would not be out throwing bait when you HAVE a girlfriend!! I call that "collapsable honesty"; it fits where They want it to. Leads you to think that he would be NO more honest with you, if you got into it 'as friends'.
And another thing (will someone please get me a Higher soapbox, I am height impaired!), IF that guy spent all the time on his girlfriend, that he is spending buzzarding Other women, would Their relationship probably be better!?
What say you?
You answer was Great, too! :)
Truly,
Cupcake
Grrr...I'm angry FOR you! Wasn't one of the things you were excited about with this guy the fact that he said he was looking for a serious r'ship or something??? Jerk.
I'd love to know if his girlfriend knows he has an ad up...
Sheri
Sheri >> I'd love to know if his girlfriend knows he has an ad up...
Yeah, see I was thinking about this (ya know, overanalyzing as we women are apt to do) and wondering which of several scenarios it might be.
Maybe he met this gf through this ad and hadn't "gotten around to" taking the ad down - and/or they hadn't discussed it. Maybe he met her IRL and she doesn't know about the ad, which would say he's kind of a shady character. Maybe this gf is on her way out but he doesn't want to be alone, so he's shopping for the BBD before he can ditch her. Maybe maybe maybe whatever.
I was tempted to say yeah, let's just get to know each other since I would want to be friends first anyway etc... I was also tempted to say "if you have a gf maybe you should consider taking down your personals ad?" but that's none of my business, I don't want to be mean & snippy, and either way I think I got the general point across.
The brief conversation was via IM... he did write back "that kind of sucks... have fun looking" to which I replied "yeah, I was thinking that kind of sucks too, ah well."
Since he's already shown himself to be a liar, why even believe that he has a g/f? The reason I'm skeptical is that everyone I know these days pays close attention to that "active within 24 hours" if they start seeing someone.
A female friend of mine obsessed over it before her and her b/f became exclusive. A girl I was seeing did the same thing to me. I do it to girls.
So my point is, if he does have a g/f, he's either *very* stupid and/or his g/f does not have a computer.
There's just no way to know. Maybe instead of ghosting you, he wanted to at least give you some closure, albeit with a lame excuse.
OLD sure is fun, huh ;)
Best of luck to you.
wow, I can't believe it when guys do that. I have come across two such men in my on-line experience (both were in the relationship section too - not the dating or intimate section either). One said "I guess I should tell you upfront that I have a wife but I am just not happy" and the other said after about 4 e-mails "by the way, I have a girlfriend but when I meet someone else who can make me happier I'll get rid of her".
Yeesh...did I let them have it back to (given my experience with my cake eating husband and all, lol). Did they pick the wrong girl or what to pull that crap with.
mom of 2