Calling...?
Find a Conversation
| Sun, 03-26-2006 - 9:53pm |
Hi, I am new here. I am divorced and out of a LT relationship last fall which I got into immediately after I left my husband. I am now online. It has been so long since I started a new normal relationship that I have no idea of what a normal start to a relationship is. I could use some imput. In the end of Febuary this guy winked me and then after a couple of emails, we went out. Since then we have gone out on a weekend night 2x more (last date was Friday night). Each week he calls on Tuesday and asks me out for the upcoming weekend. We have a fun date but there is no contact except for arranging the next date and then nothing till I see him. I realize this has only been three weeks so far and for now, I am okay with everything. naturally though, I am analyzing it to death. When does a weekly date progress into more like calling someone to say hi and see how they are doing? I cannot read him and tell if he is into me and just acting cool or just looking for someone to occupy his weekend. He did take his profile down after our first date. Any imput?
Ivy

Personally, I would like a start like that...it sounds like a nice, slow, healthy, appropriate pace to me. I wouldn't really expect or want a guy to call more often in the beginning or date more than once a week, but after about 4-6 weeks, I'd hope that it would step up a bit to 2 dates a week and maybe a phone call or two other than those setting up the dates.
Of course, if you are the type of person who wants/needs a lot of phone calls right off the bat, then the two of you just might not be a good fit.
Do you know what type of relationship he's looking for in general (either from his profile or from your talks)? That would be helpful information.
Sheri
Welcome to the board!
While I think taking the profile down after one date is jumping the gun a bit, it sounds like he is taking things slow and keeping it simple.
I wouldn't analyze it.
Thanks for all the responses. I haven't been able to respond till now.
Here's the additional info which makes it confusing to understand. Ok ok, I did a bad thing on the 2nd date - we slept together. But then he told me it was okay because he liked me and wanted to develop something with me. Here's the 2nd factor. I am 4 years older than him. He's 29 and I'm 33. Now that I've set the stage - since the 2nd date, we went out 2 more times so I know he is interested. But...each time we spent the night together. See (this sounds so pathetic) I really liked him and felt that if I said, lets take a step back, he would think I didn;t like him or loose interest. I guess I felt like without sex, what did I have to offer a younger guy? after all, I am a divorced 30 something woman, not a 17 yr old virgin. But...in between the dates...nothing. SO I tried to talk to him last night (on our 4th date) about how I couldn't continue sleeping with him in a casual relationship. He understood but said he *had* only 4 dates and I looked crazy - like some pushy female. Now its all messy. I'm not even sure I'll here from him again. It didn't go well last night. I think he thinks I have issues now. But I would like to develop a relationship and he is content with the once a week date. I also can't help being afriad that he is just using me - the older woman for sex until he meets some 25 yr old girl. Such a cliche'. Am I nuts?
Thanks. Ivy
Thank you! I least I feel validated. My last relationship was with a man who was a master manipulater and at the end, he admitted he knew what he was doing. Its pretty scary because I consider myself intelligent but he really seemed genuine. I am not sure if this guy is a manipulator or just plain immature. He is very confusing though. Seriously mixed messages. I actually think by trying to talk about it I may have scared him away. I have this feeling I've heard the last from him. It all makes no sense.
I think now that he knows I want a relationship and not just one date a week and sex, he is gone. Its so pissing me off because I said on my profile I wanted a relationship and so did he. I guess he does but just not with me. I guess I am just good enough for one thing.
Edited 3/30/2006 9:45 pm ET by ivy_midnight