Calling Rules #2 - after a first date

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-15-2003
Calling Rules #2 - after a first date
17
Sun, 07-13-2003 - 5:32am
Hi all,

I had a date with a guy I met through match.com tonight. It was very casual - just met for a glass of wine at a pub we were both familiar with. I really like him and we had this fantastic intellectual connection.

Anyway - I was meeting friends at a dance club later that night and he was a gentleman and asked me if he could drive me over there (it was a 6 block walk for me) and I felt comfortable enough to accept.

So anyway - right now all I have is his ph# (he doesn't have mine and he asked me to call him sometime). So its up to me to call - so how soon is too soon to call him and at least thank him for the ride over to the dance club?

Thanks in advance for the advice!

Gabi

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-31-2003
Sun, 07-13-2003 - 10:08am
According to the movie, "Swingers," you should wait 2 days... lol. I think a lot of people will have differing opinions on this one. Two days sounds reasonable to me but I don't think it would hurt to call him sooner or later... gosh, could I be any more vague?? hee hee! Sorry, I couldn't be much help here. I was just reminded (from your post) of that movie as to when to call someone is all.
Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sun, 07-13-2003 - 2:12pm
How did you set up your date? By email? If so, he knows how to get in touch with you.

And didn't you thank him while you were ON the date for the ride???? I certainly hope so!!! I think thanking him *again* is overkill.

I firmly believe (and my experience has bourne this out, time and time again) that if a man is really interested in you, you won't have to worry about when to contact him, because he'll do it first, and very soon after your date. That said, calling him won't hurt, because if he's interested, he'll be happy to hear from you and if he isn't calling won't matter because he'll already have made up his mind.

Sheri

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-15-2003
Sun, 07-13-2003 - 5:35pm
Sherri,

Normally I'd agree with you but in this case - well when I said good night he very specifically asked me to call him sometime. Perhaps he wants to see how interested I am. Who knows.

Also we met through Match.com messenger and I can't contact him since I'm not a paying member - only he can contact me and only if I'm online and logged into the messenger. And while I really liked him I'm not desperate enough to sit staring at my PC all day waiting for him to send me an IM.

I really want to call him tonight but I don't know if that will send the wrong message or not.

Gabi

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sun, 07-13-2003 - 5:44pm
I am sure you thanked him at the time - if you met through match.com he has your email - right - I wouldn't call him. but that's just me.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-15-2003
Sun, 07-13-2003 - 8:17pm
1. Yes I thanked him

2. No he doesn't have my email. I'm not a paid subscriber so we met through the match.com messenger. Its the only way he can contact me.

Gabi

Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sun, 07-13-2003 - 8:43pm
Well, then go for it if he really doesn't have a way of reaching you. Good luck and let us know what happens!

Sheri

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sun, 07-13-2003 - 9:59pm
I'll preface this by saying that I'm not one to follow 'rules' in dating. And my boyfriend thanks me often for that, because he never liked women that seemed to have a game plan in dating. That works for some women and guys, but it doesn't work for us.

So, if I had a great time with a guy, he gave me his number and asked me to call, I would probably call the following night. I would be even more likely to do that if he had no other way to contact me. I completely agree with Sheri, he will probably be happy to hear from you and if he isn't, the reason won't be because you called.

Congrats on meeting such a great guy and good luck with your relationship!

-Debbie

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-18-2003
Mon, 07-14-2003 - 10:05am
I agree... call him. What have you got to loose?
Avatar for linds8300
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 07-14-2003 - 11:38am
If it was understood that you were going to call him, then I'd call him probably 2 days after the date. If he thinks that your going to be doing the calling after the date then you should call, especially since he doesn't have your email or phone number. Good luck!

Lindsay

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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-05-2003
Tue, 07-15-2003 - 2:36pm
Call him. Wating two or three days sounds about right. I've been out with guys who clearly wanted to go out with me again but left it up to me to make the next move. Some guys are afraid of rejection or don't want to appear too pushy. No need to thank him again for the ride to the club. Make it clear that you'd like to go out with him again.
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