Calling Too Late

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-19-2003
Calling Too Late
7
Wed, 03-23-2005 - 9:39am

Tell me if anyone else is having this problem!

Half of the guys I begin talking with online, I end up giving them my number (because they say the'd like to meet and get together) end up either never calling or calling 3, 4 or 6 weeks later!

One guy I began emailing with, we exchanged phone numbers and he called once to say Hi. I hear nothing for maybe 2 months, then he pops up through email again asking if I'm still interested.

With another guy, we began emailing in Jan. He stopped responding for a month, then wrote back and we began chatting again. We exchange numbers and I call him that night to say hi. No answer. 3 weeks go by and I hear nothing. Yesterday he emails, am I still interested, frankly, no. I've moved on, I tell him.

And there have been maybe 5 or 6 other guys that call once then wait a month or two to call again and want to hang out. By then I've moved on.

What is with that? And what boggles me is these are the same guys that say 'I can't wait to meet you' and 'We should get together'. I usually call a guy the same week he gives me his number, but if he's taking longer than that, I'm gone and on to the next one.

I have a theory that most men wear their cell phones on their hip (and sleep with it on the night stand) so if they can't find one minute to say a quick hello, then guess what? Bye bye!

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-02-2004
In reply to: cl214
Wed, 03-23-2005 - 9:46am

Amen, sister....

These guys are trying to use you as backup...when a guy is interested they'll make some kind of effort to call no matter how busy they say they are.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-16-2004
In reply to: cl214
Wed, 03-23-2005 - 9:52am

I don't like to chat or email extensively before meeting in person. I'll make on call but I'm not getting into a monthlong dialog without meeting face to face. That's just me and I think in some instances guys just are afraid to meet. After all - who really enjoys those meetings.

...the only way to get good at the initial meeting is to keep going to them.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-04-2004
In reply to: cl214
Wed, 03-23-2005 - 11:17am
My current favorite date, well, initially I did not think he was interested in more than being "email buddies" and I really didn't respond much. I ended up with an email that completely floored me, I was so impressed, I never expected an email ike that from OLD. I responded and told him the what my thoughts had been. Long story short, with in 24 hours we were talking via messenger (only IM a couple times, nothing extended) with in 2 hours of my giving him my # we spoke on the phone. He is a newbie to OLD so I was straight forward in saying that I was not interested in extended IM conversations or phone conversations etc. We meet about 2 1/2 weeks later and have been on 3 dates so far (I know, not a lot)that have been a lot of fun. We speak on the phone 3-4 times a week and have short emails daily at work (i.e. have a great day, that kind of stuff)I am kinda hoping it will turn into something eventually. So all that to say, if the guy is expressing interest but doesn't follow through, NEXT! There is someone that will talk the talk and walk the walk. That is how I was with the other 3 people I had been corresponding with and there was no follow through on their part and I am not going to sit around waiting by the phone, forget that! I am too busy and have a life.
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-03-2004
In reply to: cl214
Wed, 03-23-2005 - 11:22am

Yay!! An OLD success story. Thanks so much, we could sure use them.

I agree absolutely with everything you posted re responses/lack thereof.

amjay

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-04-2004
In reply to: cl214
Wed, 03-23-2005 - 12:25pm
amjay45,
lol, A success story? I hadn't thought of it that way yet, but I suppose in a way it is. I have a hard time juggling more than one person at a time but I do try! I went on 3 meets, had a second date w/ one of them and three dates and what seems like the beginning of a relationship w/ the third, was also corresponding w/ another but he never called so I quit that one... (thats 4 all together i was juggling) 2nd date guy was nice, I posted about him and how he became more attractive as the evening went on, but at the end of the second date I said "had fun call if you would like to do it again" and nothing...then he catches me online and wants to know why I never called? Uh, excuse me but, guy-chase-girl! then proceeds to tell me how his sim card keeps crashing in his cell phone, blah, blah... and really? the dog ate you homework? what a shame! Be a man already, puhleeaaassssse! don't ya know, two days later guy figures out how to use the phone but too late, too bad, so sad, for him, not me! But, third date guy, he is so nice! I never call him, unless it is to return a call I missed. He communicates what is going on in his life when I am not around with no prompting or prying questions from me trying to get info (although, I have never spoken to him on a friday night and I am curious, but I also work on friday night so that could play a part). And most importantly, too me, he actually gives compliments to me about things other than my looks! It is a freakin' miracle! and no red flags, except the one personal red flag I have about dating guys that drive jeeps (he does, but I usually will NOT date a guy that drives one for many reasons that I will not go into here, but is a personal red flag for me) And so far, my only problem is, we haven't kissed or even held hands! and I am dying to! :) but on the other hand, our dates haven't really been the romantic type of dates that would more naturally lead to kissing and hand holding so it seems to me the timing hasn't been right for that yet so I am trying to ignore that teensy weensy thing as I don't want to be jumping in the sack on date four anyway! And, I also haven't been talking about him much either, too anyone even though I desperately want to, I am not becaus at this point, it is a case of girl saying :"relationship" and guy saying "what realtionship" so I have a beginning of a hope that things will continue to go slowly but in a forward fashion and maybe this time around I could possibly, maybe find what I am looking for (afterall, that is why we are all doing this, right?) I hope all this made sense, lol.
Smile,
J
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-03-2004
In reply to: cl214
Wed, 03-23-2005 - 12:50pm

Yes, success! It's so nice to meet normal guys, isn't it? I knew they were out there somewhere. And I also know that dating shouldn't be the chore it seems to be these days.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-17-2002
In reply to: cl214
Wed, 03-23-2005 - 1:17pm
That's awesome j! Glad to hear things are going well even if you are getting antsy with the 3 date guy! Maybe it is time to plan a more romantic date and make some subtle indications that kissing you would be perfectly acceptable! Good luck and keep us filled in on how it goes.

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