Can a ghost resurrect?

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-07-2005
Can a ghost resurrect?
12
Mon, 10-24-2005 - 2:41pm

I have mentioned quite a few times about a man that I met online in 2000 who I fell in love with who "ghosts" on me frequently. I have resolved that the relationship is what the relationship is. It hurts because I have never loved anyone like I do him. We were chatting online last night and it amaze how well we get a long, laughing and at one point my cell phone rang and I talked with a friend a few minutes and my "ghost" appeared to be a tad jealous. The nerve. I have resorted to playing laid back but at times it hurts like heck when we have to say goodnight because God only knows when I will see or chat with him again. I just love him.

My question is.....can a man who has disappeared and reappeared so many times finally get his act together and give a this relationship a real chance? Has it ever happend to anyone? NOt that I think or hope or wait for that to happen. Just curious what everyone's thoughts are.

F

Pages

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-01-2005
Mon, 10-24-2005 - 2:46pm

Fluffy-


I am going to give it to you straight...NO!

CL-Truewild1969

For further information regarding OLD including FAQ please visit our OLD Website at;

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-26-2005
Mon, 10-24-2005 - 2:52pm
I always let the ghost R.I.P. Men who ghost don't have good charecter, always a dealbreaker with me. I know it's hard and painful, but you must see him for what he truly is, totally full of sh--! You should block him, forget about him, and move on. He's just playing games with you and wasting your time, don't enable him to continue hurting you.
Be strong and save your heart for a good man who has earned it !
The T Girl
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-07-2005
Mon, 10-24-2005 - 3:50pm

No offense taken...trust me I pride myself on being one of those women who can move on from anyone but for some reason this one is difficult.

As far as being dumped multiple times...we never have "that" type of relationship to be dumped. He never makes promises and the like so there is never any type of commitment that he bails on or anything like that. He just shows up every couple of months by calling first or catching me online. There is zero contact between those times.

I know I am grasping here. I know what I am doing to myself each time I answer the phone or respond to his IM's. Each time I swear that I am going to ignore him and well my heart seems to take over and the rest of me especially my brain turns to mush.

Thank you for the response you are right on the money.

F

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-07-2005
Mon, 10-24-2005 - 4:05pm

Believe you me I have dated many men over the course of the 6 years he has been "ghosting" on me. I no longer "wait" for him but I did for a couple of years. I guess I keep it straight in my head by convincing myself that he's just fun and games and use him in return. (But we all know what the truth is)

Thanks for responding. You are right.

F

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-09-2004
Mon, 10-24-2005 - 5:38pm
I know exactly how you feel. I dated this guy that I've posted about here. I had fallen head over heels. It ended on not a pleasant note. Then, I contacted him in May and the same kind of e-mailing nonsense you have goes on. He e-mails back every few weeks and makes some comment that gives youu a spark of "hope," but it's nothing more than him wanting to keep his ego alive knowing we keep responding back. He's been a tough one for me to let go of too due to the attraction. I hadn't felt that much chemistry since college. I hope that, like a bad cold, it too will eventually go awya :). I think when we meet someone else that grabs our attention, we will look at these self absorbed men and ask ourselves why we let them get under our skin.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-08-2005
Mon, 10-24-2005 - 10:02pm

I don't like him. He sounds like someone who will create a world of hurt. let him go.

Ghosting is a deal-breaker for me too...it's just plain rude.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-31-2005
Mon, 10-24-2005 - 10:21pm

Please, re-read what you wrote over and over:


<>


You know what you need to do. So what is really keeping you from doing it?


iVillage Member
Registered: 09-30-2005
Tue, 10-25-2005 - 9:47am

My question is.....can a man who has disappeared and reappeared so many times finally get his act together and give a this relationship a real chance?

No anyone who cares about you even as a friend will stay in constant contact with you. He just reappears in your life when he can't get anyone else. He is just using you. My advice is to drop this sleazy character for someone who is more reliable and who will always be there when you need them and not just be around when he needs to get laid.

R.I.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-23-2005
Tue, 10-25-2005 - 2:25pm
JMHO...No. Because he doesn't want a real relationship, and after 5 years never will at least not with you...I'm sorry if this sounds harsh, but the reality is he's out there somewhere, living a life and interacting with people every day and doesn't seem to be thinking much about you.
Gotta let this one go sweetie, but it sounds like you already know this. Just be strong and do it for your own good.
Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-07-2005
Tue, 10-25-2005 - 3:56pm

I actually just posted a post here that someone ghost on me for 2 weeks and suddently appeared again (at least replied my message online). I do know what I should do. But I still have some kind of "hope". I guess you too.

If you really want to try harder, tell him your concern, if he still acts like a ghost, then you should put zero hope on him.

Pages