Can I contact him again after a month???

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-17-2004
Can I contact him again after a month???
25
Wed, 07-06-2005 - 9:46pm

I started online dating about 2 months ago. From the get go, I started chatting with 2 guys at once (let's say their names are dan and mike). Dan was alittle more agressive... so we out on a few dates and we had a great. Then, I went out with mike and we also had a great time. But things were going so well with dan that we both decided to take down our profiles. Mike sent me an email the next week, but I never responded back to him.

Anyway, dan and I never really worked out, so now I'm back online.

My question is... it okay to contact this mike again??? And if so, what do I say to him without it seeming like he's the second choice? I did have a good time with him and would like go out with him again... and I probably rushed things with dan. I learned.

Thanks for any advice!!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-19-2004
Fri, 07-08-2005 - 10:42am
And it's certainly your right to do that. I don't think I'd have a chip on my shoulder I would realize I wasn't a priority and I just frankly wouldn't be interested in him. I'm sure he'd find someone else that would be happy to date him it just wouldn't be me. Everyone has their own approach to dating, right or wrong, it's how we approach things. I'm not into games, nor am I into 3 strikes and you are out, if I'm not feeling you, I'm outta there.


Edited 7/8/2005 10:48 am ET ET by sniffle_sally
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-17-2004
Fri, 07-08-2005 - 12:25pm

Thanks for everyone advice and interesting comments!

Update... I did contact him... sent him a simple email similar to what Sheri suggested... and he did write back! He wants to go out again sometime next week. So I'm glad I sent him the email... I really don't think it was a big deal.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-19-2004
Fri, 07-08-2005 - 1:29pm
Good news for you! Have fun!
Avatar for travkitty
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-05-2003
Fri, 07-08-2005 - 1:30pm

You know, I take this kind of situation on a case-by-case basis. Sometimes I get so many responses that I will be honest with some guys I actually do have an interest in, telling them I'm swamped & it may be a while before I can truly respond. Sometimes a guy will email me, but as more emails come in, his gets pushed to the 2nd page & I'm plumb forget.

No, in terms of guys doing this, you don't know the situation. I'd been talking to this guy, Paul, on Match for maybe a week. We exchanged a few emails, but then he said he can really only date one woman at a time & that he had met a girl he was talking to before we started talking. They clicked, so he wanted to focus on their chemistry & see how it went. In that case, I thought it was totally cool & to contact me again if things didn't work out & maybe I'd still be available. Lo & behold, he emails me yesterday saying he & the girl decided to just be friends & asked if I was available & interested in meeting. In that case, I would (and will) give a second chance.

I did have a decent first date the other night. He wants to go out again. I didn't feel a lot of romantic chemistry, but I liked him nonetheless on some level. I think it's worth a 2nd date to see if anything clicks before writing him off.

Annie

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-01-2005
Fri, 07-08-2005 - 3:23pm

As I have said before...there are no set rules.

CL-Truewild1969

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