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casual dating
| Mon, 02-27-2006 - 4:55pm |
First;
1. had bad marriage and 6 kids with ex.
2. had great relationship and fiance died of Cancer June 1 2005
3. signed up with yahoo
OK, my profile says just someone to go out to events with.
Pretty clear still have no heart yet to give.
Met 1st guy, total idiot, no problem
met guy # 2, nice guy, a gentleman. Putting up with crazy behavior result of grief still. Is begining to make it clear will like sex sometime in future no hurry or pushing. Dated 4 times so far.
Nice guy, does not turn on or off.
I am pretty sure I don't want sex.
I am unclear if I should stop talking to other guys online while dating him even though I want nothing exclusive or serious.
Ok, I'm a confused mess, that's why I'm posting. No girlfriend to talk this out with.

Based upon your post, IMO I don't think you should be dating at this time.
Is this guy putting up with your crazy behavior and although he wants sex; have you told him that you are not interested in having sex? Most guys will eventually want sex, but if you are seeking someone just to hang out with, are you letting the guys know this upfront? I'm confused as to what you are asking?
I agree with steph in that you really should not be dating ANYONE at this time, casual or otherwise. You are very obviously still grieving over the fiancee. And I don't mean this harshly, but with a bad marriage and 6 kids, you have some baggage that you need to work through as well.
This guy is not that much of a gentleman if after 4 dates he is indicating he wants sex from you if you have not given him any indication that's what you are looking for. If you were in a place to date, I would say there is no reason for you to stop talking to other guys or stop going out with them at this point. But what you really need is some grief counseling - you can find it at your church or community center. There's also a couple grief boards out here you might consider:
http://messageboards.ivillage.com/iv-bhgrief?ice=ivl,searchmb
http://messageboards.ivillage.com/iv-ppgrieving?ice=ivl,searchmb
Anyway, my advice is to hide your profile, get some help and get over your fiancee first. You're not doing yourself or anyone else any good in your condition right now. If all you want is casual sex, you can keep this guy around, but it sounds like you don't want that. But you are quite honestly not ready to date, IMO.
I am not against sex, I like it, I just want casual dating not casual sex. I'm just not sure it can be done. Is it wrong to date a guy that doesn't ring your bells and say no to sex if you had began the relationship with a No sign in writting.
No, it's not "wrong" at all, you're being upfront about what you want. He's just hoping he can change your mind! If you think about it, it's not too different from what some women do when guys say upfront they aren't looking for a relationship, just sex and fun...many women think they can change the guy's mind.
Since this guy isn't paying attention to what you're saying, it's time to stop seeing him and meet some other men. It won't be *easy* to find a guy who's ok with what you're looking for, but you're not wrong to try.
Sheri