CL update
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| Thu, 02-09-2006 - 6:28pm |
OK, my CL experiment is still going well, but I seem to be having issues with them getting to the first meet or at least getting to the first meet in a reasonable manner! I have currently offered my phone # to 5 guys and am still email chatting with a couple more.
#1 Phone Guy - we chatted and I realized that the son he'd mentioned was in his teens and lived at home with him. Not my thing so I sent him a nice brush off email which he thanked me for and also said "I also got the feeling you're not a smoker..." NOPE! In fact, violently allergic so OOPS! NEXT
#2 Phone Guy - offered my number and he said "I'm SOOO busy. I'll try to call you soon." Never heard from him ever again by phone OR email. NEXT
#3 Phone Guy - Called on Sunday, we had a very nice conversation. GREAT voice - very deep and resonant. Said he's going to be very busy the next few weeks. He emailed the other day though and said it was nice to talk and how was my week going. I responded. That was Tuesday. Nothing since. Not holding my breath.
#4 Phone Guy - IMed on Tuesday night. I hate IMing but... It was a "good" IM session as far as they go - back and forth, funny guy. I'd given him my # prior to the IMing and he emailed today and said he'd try to call but he's working late. Again, not holding my breath.
#5 Phone Guy - seems the most promising. A nice guy who is a high school computer teacher. Seems really nice, down to earth, funny. Picture looks like someone that I don't normally go for, but not unattractive. Just kind of what my friend would call a Beefy T - like a high school football coach - tall, muscular, manly-ish. He seems very into talking with me. Told me he was looking forward to it and asked a good time to call. Positive signs.
#1 Email only guy - asked to meet this weekend. I'm not extremely attracted to his pictures but he's said that all the ones he has are not good. Hmm, warning bells but I suppose it can't hurt to meet for coffee.
#2 Email only guy - just emailed at 5 pm and asked if I could go out tonight for drinks. Ummm, no. Not only is it too short notice, it's Survivor night! I would give up Survivor for certain things (only live Survivor of course - TiVo is always set), but a first meet is not one of them. Anyway, he seems nice and relatively fun. I might meet him later in the weekend but not tonight.
But only the email only guys have asked me out! And they haven't asked for a number. Hmmm. I don't get it but oh well.

Oh the perils of OLD. Like yourself I posted (and moved it to my Dating Diary) my experiences w/men on CL and POF. I too have given my number and a few have called (not consistently) or prefer emailing, but like you I'm not holding my breath and some I prefer they never call again.
The biggest thing is a lot of these guys have other things (job, other women, baggage, etc.) going on. It seems to be difficult for some men to get out of their comfort zone and step out there and try to cultivate relationships. I believe there truly is a desire; but the reality is they are not willing to do the work. Heck, I've even felt like that at times. Anyway the bottom line is if they are not willing to do the work; I'm not willing to do it all myself. There has to be balance! This is probably the most discouraging about OLD; but I've been on a long enough break from OLD that I may be thick-skinned now; that I've just accepted that you may meet plenty of people like this before meeting someone on the same page as you. That goes for IRL too. It truly is like finding a needle in a haystack.
Anyway keep stacking them up!
Well hey, a bunch of maybe's is better than nothing... even if none of them pan out, it's always good for practice and perspective.
Gosh! What's taking these guys so long???? Don't they realize that the point of meeting online is just that...meeting??? So are you at least meeting E1 for coffee this weekend?
I finally heard from A, the guy I met on CL a week ago Sat, last night...we still have no plans for a 4th date however. One of the other guys who responded to my ad (but after I'd agreed to meet A) asked me twice to send more pictures...I deleted his emails. He's got a good, representative, full-length shot of me, why does he need more pictures? Besides he only sent me one of himself, ha (not that I need to see more but it's the principle of the thing)! And a 3rd guy only seems to be into sending me text messages, rather than actually calling and meeting...next for him!
Keep us posted on how it all shakes out...I hope you get at least 2-3 meets from this.
Sheri
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So true. That's been my experience exactly. Maybe it's my age group, the over-40s, but a lot of these men are so set in their ways, I don't know why they even bother posting a profile. Like you, sometimes I too feel as if it's not worth all the bother, but when I feel that way, I take a break. I wish some of these guys I've met had taken a break rather than lead me to believe they wanted a relationship, when in reality, they don't want to exert themselves at all.
On a more hopeful note, good luck and keep us posted, vex. I may try CL, thanks to you and others who've posted about it.
Oh, and I forgot:
Email Guy #3 - Now Phone Guy #6 - I gave him my # yesterday and I got a reply today. He currently lives in Philly but is here a couple weeks a month and is moving here soon. Nice, funny. We'll see if the moving is a scam or not.
Email Guy #4 - said he was going to be out of town skiing for a week last Wednesday and that he'd get back to me. Not holding my breath AGAIN.
Email Guy #5 - I feel guilty about this one b/c I mixed him up with #4. I thought he said HE'D be out of town so I didn't write back. I reread his last email (sent last week) and no, he's here and asked me for a drink. I feel stupid responding now saying I got him confused with someone else so I think I'll blow it off even though he was nice but not my type.
Anyway, I did NOT get a call from the one guy last night. Since I wasn't holding my breath, no biggie but I'm slightly disappointed. Oh well. I got an email back from teacher guy, we'll see if he calls. I did write back to last-minute guy and the other email guy giving my # so if they still want to meet, we can figure something out.
Oh and I had a couple quick NEXTs too.
Next Guy #1 - seemed insecure and pushy. It took me two days to get back to his original email and he said "I thought you weren't interested. Did you get a lot of replies..." blah, blah. I told him yes, and then we emailed back and forth once. He emailed Thursday and Sunday I get a pouty email saying "What, too busy answering all those emails or just not interested?" I responded back that I wasn't interested anymore since he couldn't handle two days with no communication! Sheesh.
Next Guy #2 - sounds like Sheri's guy with the picture questions. He'd sent only one of himself but wants more of me. That creeps me out when they ask for more. I just haven't responded to him.
And of course let's not forget naked guy and thong guy. ;-) And I just got ANOTHER email today. Whew - this is draining! :-)
OK, update on the update.
I received 3 phone calls and emails from existing guys today.
I got a call and email from PG #3 - his work IS really busy right now as they are rolling out new software to a number of locations in the next couple weeks. I'd sent a quick email to him as the "last ditch email" and was thinking if he didn't respond, I was done since I hadn't heard from him in a few days. He responded almost immediately though and said he was sorry for not getting back. I will probably return his call tomorrow.
I got an email from PG #4. He said he was really sorry and felt like a huge hypocrite for saying he'd call the other night and then not. Said he is usually very much a man of his word and apologized again. Said he would "try" to call tomorrow. I like him, but not holding my breath again.
I got a call from PG #5 later today and have not returned it yet. He seemed a little nervous in his message but nice voice. I'll call him back tomorrow. I have a party in a little bit.
I got a call from Email Guy #1 who I gave my number to on Friday. It was a nice, brief (15 minute) conversation. We made tentative plans to meet tomorrow afternoon for a "coffee meet".
So another interesting day. We'll see how it goes!
Wow Vex, you got plenty of responses! Hope something good comes out of these dates when you reach that point. In the meantime, are you using Excel to keep these guys straight? LOL :)
Oh, by the way...did you post a photo with your ad?