clinginess early on-red flag?

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-01-2003
clinginess early on-red flag?
9
Sun, 11-12-2006 - 12:08am
So as I stated in a previous thread, I've had over 100 responses from a craigslist ad. Responded to the ones who were possibilities and met one nice and decent guy tonight. Now I've had a couple of guys contact me already with a second email because I didn't get back to either of them in two days. One made the comment that he guesses he doesn't live close enough to me and the other tried to play it off with a sense of humor and then telling me he wants to get to know me better. I wrote one brief email to each of these guys and that's it with some photos enclosed. I meant to get back to them when I had a moment to compose a thoughtful email which is hard when I've had to do about a 100 of those in the last week. I don't do generic emails. Should I take this as a red flag that they're so clingy so early on?
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-09-2008
Sun, 11-12-2006 - 2:40am
nah, not as a red flag. if you read their profile and they really are worth getting to know, then just email them back when you get a chance and go from there...
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-01-2003
Sun, 11-12-2006 - 9:21am
Yeah, I would normally not think much of it but the one who made a joke out of it said that perhaps I don't like his picture and as a matter of fact, I don't. Something about having your arm around a woman wearing a wedding band with her face concealed makes me not want to reply...I don't understand why men send pictures of themselves with other women, even if it's not anybody they had anything romantic with. Do they think it makes them look like studs? It boggles my mind.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-01-2006
Sun, 11-12-2006 - 9:40am

I have thought the same thing! Why would I want to see a picture of a potential date with his arm around another woman??? If he had the technology to put a picture on the internet, he has the technology to crop her out of the picture. So annoying.

And I wouldn't see this as clinginess. I'm on myspace and have gotten so many emails that I can't possible answer all of them (well, I could, but I don't want to LOL. I'd rather spend my time getting to know the guys that I feel are potentially acceptable), and it seems like some guys know that this is how it is, so they send a follow up one. And there have been a few cases where the first email got lost in the crowd, so I'm glad they send another one.

I would go more by their profile at this stage. Good luck :)

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-01-2003
Sun, 11-12-2006 - 10:11am

Or sunglasses...hate sunglasses in photos let alone in real life. I feel like the guy has some kind of facade or is hiding something.

Or even though I send them photos after they reply to my ad, they still don't send any in return because they claim they don't have any though their self-description makes them sound like total hotties. One claimed he's a personal trainer. Honestly, I've never come across a personal trainer who didn't have a body shot of himself. But they want to talk on the phone or even meet up after seeing my photos or even before that. It just seems shady to me.

I keep worrying that I passed up some potentially good guys because they didn't wow me from the get go and put much effort into their first email. But I wouldn't either if there was no photo of the other person to go by. But if I could barf from writing emails, I would. That should be my auto response so the guys don't take it personally, haha.




Edited 11/12/2006 10:18 am ET by ising101
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-21-2006
Sun, 11-12-2006 - 6:27pm
What's clingy about touching base a second time to let you know that they are truly interested? Clingy would be wanting to spend every waking hour with you after one date.
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-21-2004
Mon, 11-13-2006 - 9:48am

I really should put an ad up on Craig's List that I can properly remove unwanted persons from photographs if need be for a small fee.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-28-2004
Mon, 11-13-2006 - 1:04pm

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You are so right on the money! Yesterday I had the misfortune of running across a fugly photo of my abusive XH on the same dating site I'm on and yep, he's hiding behind some VERY DARK sunglasses. He actually looks angry. I can only hope anyone who sees his photo will *instantly* get a bad vibe and stay the heck away from him.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-16-2006
Mon, 11-13-2006 - 5:21pm
what about a guy that has 2 photos of himself and 10 of his dog on match.com! I just got a wink (which I really hate, cuz if the guy doesn't have the guts to email me first, I don't bother) but when I checked out his photos he has 3 dogs in every photo and he's only in the first two of them! NO WAY! ha!
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-21-2004
Tue, 11-14-2006 - 8:45am
That drives me crazy, too.

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