Clingons & guys using maturity excuse
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| Thu, 04-21-2005 - 12:25pm |
It has been an interesting week OLD wise. First, on Match, I have been getting fairly good traffic and response rate lately. Several winks and emails - I must be at the top of the rotation. So I come back to the age-old question of why men think that just because they are a couple years out of your age range and/or "I look/act younger than my age" that they think it is still OK to contact you? I had a guy that was 41 (my top age is 39 and I am thinking of lowering that b/c I still think that is older than I would date) and so I sent him the little Match canned reply of "Thanks for writing to me, but unfortunately, we're just not a good match. Good luck in your search! Our profiles didn't match on: Age" In my new days of honesty, I figure I might as well let him know why I don't think we are a match (I was alno NOT physical attracted, but I don't believe in being harsh and saying the physical thing as a reason when there are less insulting ones). So no big deal. Well he replies back with the same old thing - "Sorry to hear that, I look more at maturity, seven years is not a big difference to me.. Best wishes to you.." Well, I don't care if it is not a big deal to you, it is a big deal to me! Sheesh.
Then, this morning, I saw that I had a message on my cell. I look at the number and it was this guy from MM that I had talked to a couple times and after talking, I just decided that I wasn't all that interested. We hadn't met, we'd talked on the phone a couple times including once when he called on Sunday afternoon to see if I wanted to get together because he was "driving around enjoying the great weather" and we had discussed earlier in the week that we shoudl get together. Well, sorry, calling me Sunday afternoon to get together in half an hour - nope. I said no but said he should call later in the week and we could arrange something else. He didn't call. That was 3 weeks ago and I wasn't interested enough to call him. So I listen to the message and he said he just "wanted to see if I could talk for a few minutes". HUH? I'm not going to call back - I just don't care that much.
Sigh... I didn't have much to say. Just kind of wanted to vent.

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The Online Guy wrote:
>"Sorry to hear that, I look more at maturity, seven years is not a big difference to me..<
Yeah right. Does he respond to women seven years OLDER than him?? I bet not.
I'll be honest... I've never really understood why it's so upsetting to people to get attention from someone drastically outside of a given age range.
Heck, I've had old GUYS hit on me and it doesn't bother me. One time on Match, I got an email from a cross-dresser... and "she" was more manly in her dress than I am in my jeans!
I just figure that hey, I'm an attractive guy, if they like attractive guys then they darn well SHOULD like me! :)
What's so ironic/funny about Vexer's guy is that she was honest about it and courteous enough to send a note... and he argues with it. How "mature" is that? If someone has to tell you about how mature they are... are they really mature? :)
Vex, don't let this guy get you down, and don't let old dudes hitting on you bug you too much. Expand that age range, though- my gf is 8 years younger than me. :)
I understand your vent...but I have on occasion contacted men who had 44 or 45 as their upper age limit (I'm 46)...I figure if they are really going to ding me for being six months past my birthday, then so be it (but I won't contact them if it's more than a couple years). I don't think there's any harm in trying...who knows, you might decide to make an exception if you really like their profile. And it's not like they KNOW that you are now thinking 39 is too high, right? Just hit delete (or respond as you did).
So, I'd say the only thing the guy did wrong was respond to your "thanks but no thanks" email.
Sheri
Definitely - that is pretty much the point. I put down an age range for a reason and I stick to it. To try to "argue" your way back in is more the annoying part. I'm not a big fan of getting hit on by men outside of my range, but what is worse is when they try to convince you otherwise since they don't look or act their age.
As for me, I guess I am just fearful of that "dreaded 40". I'll get over it. 30 was fine but I have this new hurdle to get over and being 34, I'd still like to date someone in their 30s also. No offense meant at all to those over 40, but when I hear the age "40" it is like a mental block in my head! It seems so much older than me even though it is not. The guy I am seeing (yes, I am still seeing him - it was not just a booty call - but I AM keeping options open) is 6 months older than I am and that is perfect. We identify with the same things, like the same things and are at similar places in our lives. And many people a few years older than I am have been married (not a big deal for me, my guy is divorced) and/or have children, even teenagers. I am still debating whether I want my own kids and to deal with someone else's teenagers is more than I want to take on.
That's what happens when you're not Adrian Paul.
(sorry - will never mention that dude again)
OF course he's going to continue to call you, because you were teasing him. That's why he was "clinging on".
Cetrainly, that is an excellent reply.
I'd like to pull up my original quote, to show you it is
not malicious, but uplifting. Unfortunately, that reply has
been deleted by the administration. This, leaves me
in a position to not be able to repsond to you in a full
and fruitful manner.
I sincerely respect your opinions, as I am sure you respect mine.
OH, sure, i'm the devil now cause the girl i was out with
FONDLED my best friend with his WIFE sitting next to him...
yeah, you dont like that so you get my posts deleted...knowing you
do the same thing.....sure.
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