closing eharmony matches

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-01-2005
closing eharmony matches
6
Mon, 03-20-2006 - 4:30pm
Ok, so I'm in the initial stages of communication with this one guy. Come to find out, he wants 3-plus kids. I don't want any, really. I'm new at the eharmony thing, so is it really necessary to close a match? I don't want to come off as a witch. What happens if you just don't respond?







iVillage Member
Registered: 03-16-2006
Mon, 03-20-2006 - 4:40pm

You're not a witch for closing a match!

heather 5-18-10
Avatar for phoenixmama
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2003
Mon, 03-20-2006 - 7:14pm

Please don't feel bad about closing a match! Eventually they will start to clutter up your "all matches" section unless you go ahead and move them over to "closed". Otherwise if you never respond, he'll probably close you. So you might as well get it over with.

I recall a discussion a short while back, about which "closing messages" are appropriate or might be offensive. For me with that type of difference, I would use the one "I think the difference in our values is too great." I like to use a specific reason for closing whenever I can.... "Other" gets old after a while. ;)

I was going to ask about another eHarmony issue, hope you don't mind if I "borrow" this thread LOL... but eHarmony really is different than every other site in the way the whole process works. My question is about the 3rd stage short-answer questions, is it unreasonable to expect a paragraph?... Like I picked the question, "What are you looking for in a relationship partner?" And get this, one guy's answer was "fun, romance, enjoyable experiences" and that's the entire answer?! Am I expecting too much or is that really lazy?

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-01-2005
Mon, 03-20-2006 - 7:39pm

How dare you hijack a thread! :-)

Honestly, I think that's lazy. Especially in a system where you don't really get to talk a lot in the beginning stages, yoiu need to take every opportunity to let the person see who you are. Does eh limit the number of characters severely?







Avatar for phoenixmama
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2003
Tue, 03-21-2006 - 8:48am

Hijack? Who, moi? ;)


I do not believe there is a limit on the number of

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-23-2005
Tue, 03-21-2006 - 12:38pm

lothiriel,


Don't worry about closing those matches that you choose to take a pass on. I was on eHarmony for a while last year and had to close so many because they just weren't in my perameters and the children issue was one of them. eH would send me matches all the time with guys who wanted children. I'm 45 and don't. eH just isn't as selective

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-16-2006
Tue, 03-21-2006 - 2:11pm
A SHORT paragraph maybe, but a book, I wouldn't expect that!
heather 5-18-10