Clueless question re: first meeting

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-20-2005
Clueless question re: first meeting
16
Tue, 01-25-2005 - 7:42pm

I've had a variety of responses from OLD. From nothing to an wink, a few emails, then ... well, lets just say I've figured out what "ghosting" is. Anyway, there is one guy with whom I've emailed back & forth, had a couple of telephone conversations and now we are meeting in person for coffee this week. He seems nice enough and we've had good conversations so far. So we'll see.

Now, since this is the first guy I'm meeting from OLD I'm wondering what to do when I meet him face to face for the first time. Would you give him a quick kiss, kiss on the cheek, hug, handshake, hello, or just hang back and see what he does?

I'm not too sure why I'm hung up on this little detail but I just feel so clueless.

Thanks, N

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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-16-2003
Wed, 01-26-2005 - 1:16pm

"In NO situation, though, would it be good to walk up to him and do the Anna Nicole Smith self-grope-molestation thing while saying "dooo yoooo liiike my bodddy?" "

Note to self: NO ANNA-LIKE SELF GROPING!

;-))

seriously -- I don't have a problem with a kiss if it's gone well. I got a first-date kiss last night! But it depends on the situation and how comfortable you feel. This is probably the one place where you should play it entirely by ear -- rules don't apply.

Avatar for calilawgirl
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-15-2003
Wed, 01-26-2005 - 1:20pm

I usually make my decision based on a combination of my first impression of them in-person and how much emailing/chatting/phone calls we've done.

If I'm attracted to them right away or I've felt like we've had some good conversations prior to the meeting- I do the 1 armed hug. Sometimes it's just a handshake. And sometimes I just say hello and there is no physical contact.

Follow your instincts. Chances are he's wondering the same thing you are. And if one of you goes in for the hug, while the other one tries to shake hands, at least you'll have something to laugh at and break the ice.

I try to go into my first in-person meetings only with the expectation that I'm meeting someone new who could be interesting. Anymore than that, I think leads to too much anxiety and pressure.

Relax, enjoy yourself, this is supposed to be fun! :)

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-17-2002
Wed, 01-26-2005 - 3:40pm
I agree with most everyone here. I think a handshake is appropriate when first meeting since you really don't know this person and then at the end of the date if you feel comfortable, a hug or a kiss. But I usually kind of feel the situation out and see his body language to see how to go at the end!

131.gif image by y_baros th5K.gif image by jade_simo

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-04-2003
Wed, 01-26-2005 - 4:46pm
errr...what if she doesn't wear a bra?
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-04-2003
Wed, 01-26-2005 - 4:47pm
Depending on the guy, I'll do the kiss/kiss on each cheek. Very common with European. Dutch guys, it's kiss/kiss/kiss.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-04-2003
Wed, 01-26-2005 - 4:49pm

<<>>

NOW I know why I hardly ever get a 2nd date from OLD. DOH!

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