coming out of lurkdom with a problem

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
coming out of lurkdom with a problem
10
Sun, 09-04-2005 - 12:54pm

Well, I met a guy last night that I met through match. com and we've been talking for a month. We hadnt met yet cuz he lives about an hour away from me. Anyway, this guy has all the qualities that I look for in someone, plus we have tons of things in common. He's cute and has pretty eyes, but there is a problem. His teeth are gross, not all his teeth, just the top from what I could tell. That being said, how do I get past this? I didnt notice bad breath, and he was a clean person, clean shaving, neat clothes, etc. I just don't know what to do about this. I really like him, and could like him a lot more but this teeth thing makes me feel shallow and petty. Any advice would be very appreciated.

Tracie

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-29-2004
Sun, 09-04-2005 - 1:28pm
that's so weird - when i was online dating, the exact same thing happened to me! there was this one guy who seemed like prime boyfriend material, but for the teeth. just awful. i've never seen a mouthful of teeth that crooked. i don't know how anyone let him grow up without getting braces. it was sad, really, because he was perfectly handsome when his mouth was closed. i realized afterward that he kept it closed in all his profile pics. i couldn't deal with it. i flinched every time he went in for a kiss. it's a real romance killer. maybe that's petty, but the mouth is so central to romance, what with kissing and all...

i guess it depends what the problem is though. if he just needs to brush more or use one of those whitening treatments, a little gentle hinting might be enough to get him to change his behavior - i'm sure he doesn't want women to think his teeth are gross.
Avatar for travkitty
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-05-2003
Sun, 09-04-2005 - 1:46pm

I was attacted to my ex-fiance largely in part because he had FANTASTIC teeth. I had never seen a guy with better teeth, so it was definitely a plus. If it's a matter of simple whitening, perhaps it can be overcome. If he needs a total dental overhaul, though, perhaps it is a dealbreaker.

Annie

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-19-2004
Sun, 09-04-2005 - 1:53pm
I have a big pet peeve about teeth. Not so much if they are crooked, but if they are gross, as in green, beyond yellow, basically didn't take care of them. It doesn't take much to run a toothbrush over ones teeth, I find it really gross if someone has nasty teeth...it's a huge turnoff.
Avatar for travkitty
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-05-2003
Sun, 09-04-2005 - 2:03pm

I admit that my teeth aren't the whitest, but I brush twice a day, just a slight yellow from age. There's a difference between gross & just your normal slight yellowing due to time. We need details! :)

Annie

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Sun, 09-04-2005 - 2:34pm

well, the words total dental overhaul spring to mind. I mean its not all his teeth, just the ones in front on top. I feel so shallow stressing about this

Tracie

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-19-2004
Sun, 09-04-2005 - 3:35pm
I agree...there is a huge difference. This girl I used to work with, had such nasty teeth that whenever she'd stand over me at work I'd cringe to have to look at her because despite how nasty they were (and when I say nasty so yellow and caked on you feel like strapping her down and scraping the crap off with your fingernail) you had to look it was a trainwreck in my mind I was saying "DON'T DO IT IT WILL ONLY MAKE YOU ILL, DON'T DO IT!!!" but I always looked.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-09-2005
Sun, 09-04-2005 - 7:48pm

Interesting topic of discussion. Ive always been and still am a stickler about a guy's teeth. Automatic dealbreaker if his teeth were jacked up -- lil yellowing I can deal with but the type you can scrape off with your fingernails -- eewwww!!!!

Ironically, 2 months ago my crown fell out and I was devastated. I, of course, ran to the dentist and although I have dental insurance, to replace the crown (which they cannot do) I need to either get a bridge done ($3500) or an implant ($5,000), which they prefer to do an implant since the two surroundng teeth are in good condition. Needless to say I'm working overtime to save the money to get the crown fixed. All this to say, that although I like pretty teeth, I have a newfound understanding when I meet people whose teeth are "jacked up!"

Outside of insurance (and not many companies offer dental insurance) it is pretty expensive to have dental work done! As stated, I have lil yellowing, fix the gap with an implant, including some veneers, whitening (back teeth), replacing my fillings to white ones, the total cost was approx. $25,000. Obviously the look I would love to have would require me waiting another 10-15 years (I'm 44) and just having all my teeth taken out and get "white" dentures! LOL

Okay, would I still date a guy with "jacked up" teeth? Nope, it would be very difficult -- but note I would feel bad for them since I know it is expensive!!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-04-2005
Sun, 09-04-2005 - 9:37pm
I don't think you're shallow and petty at all. I couldn't do it either!
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-03-2004
Mon, 09-05-2005 - 1:02am
Ditto. There is no asset that can get me past bad teeth.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Mon, 09-05-2005 - 7:09pm

bump

Tracie