Commitment-phobic, anyone?
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Commitment-phobic, anyone?
| Sun, 04-17-2005 - 9:04am |
Question 1. I have a sinking suspicion that the guy I am about to see today for the second time has serious commitment issues. Am I wasting my time? Can these people ever change? I have read an article sometime ago that suggest - run the other way while you still can.
Question 2. If a guy is 36 and has been doing old for at least 5 years - that's a bad sign, isn't it?
Any advice here?
Question 2. If a guy is 36 and has been doing old for at least 5 years - that's a bad sign, isn't it?
Any advice here?

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He was in the TV Show "Highlander" back in the 90s--all about immortals and swordfights, based on the movie with Christophe Lambert and Sean Connery. I used to be addicted to that show, at least in part due to Mr. Paul's fine looks ;-), plus it was filmed in Vancouver BC which was cool. I see it's out on DVD...I may need to get my fix ;-).
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0103442/
But, I have to say, in response to Condorski's view that women just want good looks and nothing else, ALL the men I've been involved with have looked NOTHING like Adrian Paul...they've been nice looking, in my eyes, but not conventionally handsome, and certainly not GQ model types...and the relationships have ended for reasons completely unrelated to their looks (you know, little things like character, integrity or commitment issues).
Sheri
Sheri-
Methinks our condorski is a tad troubled....
Wouldn't Adrian Paul be a little old to be the archetypal male?
What's wrong with Colin Farrell...? Orlando Bloom?
I hear you, though. Hot only gets you INTO the relationship, it certainly doesn't cement it.
Tracy
Eh, I'm showing my own age, but Adrian Paul's age is just fine, thanks!
Colin Farrell doesn't really do anything for me...now, Colin FIRTH, otoh...yum ;-).
And actually, I avoid men who would be considered "hot"...don't need/want the competition and ego issues. Just give me your average nice-looking guy (and that probably means something a little different for each of us...for me, it means, among other things, no facial hair and a stocky body), and attraction won't be an issue. But you still have to have chemistry (which is different from attraction, IMO) and be compatible on many other levels. Looks are most emphatically not everything.
Sheri
Back to the original post AND the second one from you ivos...
No, I don't think the fac that he has been on OLD for 5 years makes him a commitmentphobe. HOWEVER, from what you have said here, he is a cheap loser with absolutely no ambition. He actually somehow made money on this date (sort of) when he pockets the change from your tip - which in my mind is a completely UNACCEPTABLE thing to do. He probably had to pay for parking or tip the valet so he took your cash. That is such a turnoff.
I still don't get how you actually said yes again. You told him you were not a match. Is he stupid or just a glutton for punishment by asking you out again but first calling you for feedback on why he is such a loser? Ghosting would not be inappropriate at this point, but if I were you I would call him up and say, "You know, I have been thinking on it and I do not want to go out with you again. I stick by my feeling that we are not a match and don't wish to continue this when I know it won't go anywhere. Buh-bye." If you don't have set plans yet, wait until he calls you and tell him that. But no matter what, don't go out with him again. You don't need to be submitted to that torture anymore.
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Hi Vex,
I will definitely ghost. Just don't feel like dealing with him anymore. Don't want to hear him mumble "well, this certainly never happened to me before.. I am so surprised.."
It's a dry spell for me right now on match. I have to be careful in such situation.
On the other hand - I've been heavily pursued by this guy at work.. I don't think it's a good idea either..
:)
>>I will definitely ghost.<<
That is such garbage. Be an adult and have the courtesy to cancel THE DATE THAT YOU AGREED TO without being a ghost.
Do it through email if you must, but unless you want some really bad karma working its way towards you, don't ghost on him/stand him up.
Do you really want to be the kind of person that stands someone up?
Hi ivos...
First...Pianoguy enjoyed chatting with you (and several others) Monday evening.
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